HALLOWEEN NEWS YOU CAN USE: “You need to understand that WASPs are a minority group who suffer from dwindling population numbers due to lack of interest in procreation behaviors. We have also been subject to negative Hollywood stereotypes as far back as the 1980s, often unfairly portrayed as ‘rich kids’ when in fact we’re merely well off. So going to your school’s Halloween party wearing pants embroidered with sailboats, carrying a gin-and-tonic, and wearing a name tag that says ‘Chip’ or ‘Muffy’ while spouting off-color jokes about Catholics, Jews, Negroes, Homosexuals and Communists trivializes the 400 years of toil it took our ancestors to build a life for us in suburban Connecticut…if you’re thinking of going to a campus Halloween party dressed as a WASP, I’m here to tell you THAT IS NOT OKAY.”

T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII just emailed me to confirm that the struggle is real.

(Via Maggie’s Farm.)