THE THIEF WHO CAME TO DINNER: No happy warriors to be found at Al Smith dinner.

The rivals showed up Thursday night at a fabled staging post on the final stretch of presidential campaigns — the Al Smith charity dinner in New York.

Smith, the former New York governor and 1928 Democratic presidential nominee, was once dubbed the “happy warrior of the political battlefield” by Franklin Roosevelt.

But Trump and Clinton looked anything but happy when they limped off the 2016 campaign trail Thursday night.

They struggled to disguise the anger, bitterness and sheer open dislike that has pulsed through their recriminatory White House race, perhaps not surprisingly since he has threatened to throw her in jail and she says he’s a threat to the republic.

Can this really be the government we deserve?