SO HEY, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE CANADIAN LADY WHO “RESCUED” THE LOBSTER?

Apparently, the sight of a lobster for sale in a grocery-store tank “weighed on [her] psyche.” So she bought it, “drove six hours to Winnipeg, [and] shipped it via UPS to a vegan contact out in Halifax for $225, where the lobster was released into the ocean by a fellow vegan out east.”

This story might remind some readers of the first act of a 1998 episode of The Simpsons, but no, it happened in real life just a while ago, and if you dare, you can listen to this chick compare what she did to the Underground Railroad.

Sojourner Crustacean isn’t the only vegan to make the news lately.

This isn’t the 21st century I was promised.