REPORT: REGULAR CAFFEINE USE doesn’t make you as alert, as your body develops a tolerance. I think I’m a naturally sleepy person who needs coffee just to function normally. In the middle ages, when people drank small beer instead, I’d have been the village oaf.

UPDATE: Science fiction author Sarah Hoyt emails: “I’ve often wondered if the acceleration in human development was in truth NOT due to the enlightnment, humanistic philosophies, new lands to colonize etc, but simply to the usage of coffee (and other caffeinated beverages.) Dumas left out of the three musketeers that hot chocolate vendors were ubiquitous on the streets of Paris at the time. Think about this ‘Ah, Monsieur, we shall have a duel, but first, a cup of hot chocolate!’ — now that I think about it, some chocolate company should so do a commercial like that.) becoming more and more widespread. I mean, I’m all for a less oppressive society, but without caffeine I’d be a walking zombie and I doubt I’d ever have finished a short story, much less a book. And I doubt I’m alone.”