Election 2020

Ex-Army Ranger's HILARIOUS Ad Mocks Bernie, Biden, Pelosi, AOC — 'Dollar Shave Club'-Style

YouTube screenshot of Sean Parnell Dollar Shave Club ad.

Sean Parnell, a former Army Ranger who won a Purple Heart and two Bronze Stars, is challenging Rep. Conor Lamb (D-Pa.) in Pennsylvania’s 17th Congressional District. His campaign released a hilarious “Dollar Sean Club” ad mimicking the style of Dollar Shave Club ads. His ad manages to slam House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.), and presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden.

In the ad, Parnell explains that he’s running for Congress because “I’m old enough to remember when Congress functioned as a legislative body, not a Trump Derangement Syndrome support group.”

“Do you really think Nancy Pelosi has your best interest in mind? She spent a global pandemic impeaching our president, holding up stimulus for unemployed Americans, and eating gourmet ice cream in her mansion. Not cool, Nancy, not cool,” the veteran adds.

“So how does Nancy get away with it? With the help of her socialism squad in the U.S. House, and Nancy Pelosi’s biggest supporter is my opponent, Conor Lamb. Conor became Pelosi’s little lamb the moment he got to Washington,” Parnell quips. “He voted against the Born Alive Act, for the job-killing Paris Climate Accords, he voted to impeach our president, has an F-rating from the NRA.”

The Republican notes that Lamb votes with Pelosi over 90 percent of the time. “I’m no shepherd, but I can tell you that that’s baaaaad.”

“Lamb supports Joe Biden, who wants to put AOC in charge of Pennsylvania’s energy jobs. That’s like putting Bill Clinton in charge of your intern program,” the ex-Army Ranger quips. (Indeed, Biden named AOC a co-chair of his climate change task force.)

Slamming Biden for his infamous “you ain’t black” comments, Parnell promises “to never tell you what ethnicity you are based on how you vote.”

“I believe we have a duty as Americans to demand better from our elected officials. And duty is something that I know about,” the veteran declares. “You might even say I wrote the book on it,” he adds, as a supporter holds up the book Outlaw Platoon: Heroes, Renegades, Infidels, and the Brotherhood of War in Afghanistan.

During his tours of duty, Parnell says he gained a Purple Heart, two Bronze Stars, and “a deep appreciation for just how damn important our freedom is.”

“Send me to Washington, and I’ll grow our economy, protect Pennsylvania’s energy industry, cut our taxes, and serve our veterans. Heck, I might even work with our president instead of impeaching him,” he promises.

Parnell asks, “Do you really want America to become a socialist country?” Holding up a picture of Sanders, he adds, “This crazy old socialist was almost the Democrat nominee.”

The Republican even fits in a dig against Pelosi’s decision to tear up President Donald Trump’s State of the Union address. “Instead of tearing up this administration’s accomplishments, let’s tear up Pelosi’s speakership and put this little lamb out to pasture,” the former Army Ranger says.

“Let’s send a lion to Congress and not a lamb,” Parnell concludes, encouraging supporters to chip in a dollar, or more than a dollar.

The ad is brilliant and hilarious, and I’ve only got one quibble: Parnell’s team didn’t do the whole ad in one shot, the way Dollar Shave Club does them.

Perhaps his campaign should do that with the next ad.

Tyler O’Neil is the author of Making Hate Pay: The Corruption of the Southern Poverty Law Center. Follow him on Twitter at @Tyler2ONeil.

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