Election 2020

[WATCH] Trump Does Stand-Up at CPAC: Mocks 'Mini Mike,' 'Pocahontas,' 'Sleepy Joe,' and More

Twitter screenshot of Trump ducking behind the stage at CPAC.

NATIONAL HARBOR, MD — President Donald Trump mocked former New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg on stage at the Conservative Political Action Conference. Hitting on Bloomberg’s short stature and his horrendous debate performances, the president slowly lowered himself behind the podium.

Trump pivoted from his strong economy to the Democratic presidential candidates.

“More than 2 million millennials have gotten jobs, we have lifted ten million people off the welfare rolls and seven million people off of food stamps,” Trump said. “And under the so-called Trump economy, we are actually achieving the progress, hope, and change that liberals have been falsely promising for decades but utterly failed to deliver, to produce, and it’s really driving them crazy. That’s why we’ll probably end up with crazy Bernie.”

He predicted a race between Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) and former Vice President Joe Biden, and said that Bloomberg’s campaign is essentially over.

“We’ve got Sleepy Joe, we’ve got Crazy Bernie, we’ve got Mini Mike, but I think he’s out of it,” Trump said. “That was probably the worst debate performance in the history of presidential debates. I’d like to spend $700 million and end up with nothing. It just shows you can’t buy an election … you gotta bring the goods.”

Trump mentioned the attacks Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) leveled at Bloomberg, saying “Boy, did Pocahontas destroy him, I’ll tell you. And look what I did to her! She choked, you know, she went out and got a test because I was killing her with the Pocahontas. Remember I said, ‘I have more Indian blood in me than she does and I have none.'”

“And they said, ‘We want you to apologize for that name,’ and I did. I apologized, nobody ever heard me apologize before, I apologize … to the real Pocahontas, I apologize,” Trump said to uproarious laughter.

Then he returned to Bloomberg, saying that when Warren attacked him, “he didn’t know what hit him. He’s going, ‘Oh, get me off of this stage! Get me off! Get me off of this stage!” As he spoke, Trump lowered himself behind the podium in a mock imitation of Bloomberg’s height and his shame.

Trump mocked former Rep. Beto O’Rourke (D-Texas). Even though Trump won the presidency, he said he would never say, “I was born to run for president.”

“It’s so presumptuous: ‘I was born to run for president.’ And then he comes out against guns, religion, and oil,” the president said. “He was born to run for president, he got less than one percent.”

He turned to Biden. “He’s got a bad habit. ‘Ladies and gentlemen of Ohio, it’s great to be with you.’ ‘Joe, Joe, you’re in Iowa,'” he said, to laughter. “That was seven times he’s done that. I haven’t done it once. And if I did, you know what I’d do? I’d walk off the stage because there’s nothing you can do to come back from that.”

“He said the other night — this was really a beauty, Sleepy Joe — he said ‘Guns have killed 150 million people last year,’ Trump said, putting his head down. He recalled asking Melania Trump, “Let me ask you this, did he just say that we killed 150 million people? That’s half our population. This is a terrible event. We have to find out what’s going on. This is bad. This wasn’t reported by the fake news!” The audience laughed uproariously.

Trump listed Democratic candidates, saying he didn’t need to “waste time” talking about them. “Buttigieg, I don’t see it. To me, every time I look at that face I see Alfred E. Newman’s, it’s true,” he said, as the audience erupted with laughter yet again.

This is a developing story and will likely be updated.

Tyler O’Neil is the author of Making Hate Pay: The Corruption of the Southern Poverty Law Center. Follow him on Twitter at @Tyler2ONeil.