Election 2020

Naked Celebrities Encourage Mail-in Voting (and Our Gag Reflexes) in New Cringe Video

Twitter video screenshot (NowThis)

I’m sorry I have to apologize for bringing this sad video to your attention, but because everyone else is, we might as well follow suit. Please forgive me, though, because you’re going to need a vat of eye bleach after sitting through this gag-worthy get-out-the-vote effort from naked celebrities (and not the ones anyone wants to see naked).

Note how stupid they think their voters are that they have to tell them what’s on the ballots in case they don’t read good or something. They chastise the listener by demanding they “read the ballot” and “follow the instructions,” as if they are talking to five-year-olds. At one point, Chelsea Handler says, “If they say, ‘Use a black pen,’ use a black pen.” This is a very low bar they have for their voting public, isn’t it?

I will never understand celebrity involvement in elections unless they are celebrities with brains like James Woods, who majored in political science and actually knows things. These people are mostly high-school dropouts who spend their lives reading words other people wrote for films other people directed. They’re puppets. I think the argument could be made that celebrities had a hand in losing the election for Hillary Clinton in 2016 with the endless moralizing and scolding that they did, thinking they were relevant and influential.

This video blows past even that awful rendition of “Imagine” they tried to pull off during quarantine. I know it’s hard to imagine anything could be worse than that narcissistic caterwauling that sounded like cats having constipation issues, but feast your eyes on this!

Thank you, celebrities, for making it so easy to mock Democrats. We owe you one. And to my readers, I’m very sorry. Here’s a palate cleanser.