Election 2020

Joe Biden Says Women Need His Help to Succeed in America

AP Photo/Carlos Osorio

If you’re a politician who’s trying to appeal to the left, you must always remember that they think of themselves first and foremost as victims. Victims of society, victims of male privilege, victims of whiteness, whatever the case may be. All the problems in the world are the direct result of oppression by The Other. Lefties are helpless targets, nobody in the world has ever suffered the way they have, and they must be rescued by… well, by whoever wants power over them.

So if you want perpetual victims to vote for you, then you need to speak their language. They hate their fathers, so you need to become their new daddy:

“The hard truth is women — and particularly women of color — have never had a fair shot to get ahead in this country. That’s why today, I’m releasing my plan to make sure women can fully participate in our economy and country.” Anytime a politician prepares you for a “hard truth,” get ready for some serious bull$#!+.

Here’s a bit of “The Biden Agenda for Women,” just posted to his Medium page:

Joe Biden is going to build our country back better after this economic crisis and that includes ensuring we get closer to full inclusion of and equality for women. Women — particularly women of color — have never had a fair shot to get ahead in this country. Today, too many women are struggling to make ends meet and support their families, and are worried about the economic future for their children. This was true before the COVID-19 crisis, but the current global health crisis has exacerbated these realities for women.

(It’s like a joke headline. WORLD ENDS: Women Hardest Hit.)

For Biden, it’s a simple proposition: his daughter is entitled to the same rights and opportunities as his sons. He believes every issue is a women’s issue — health care, the economy, education, national security — but women are also uniquely and disproportionately impacted by many policies. As President, Biden will pursue an aggressive and comprehensive plan to further women’s economic and physical security and ensure that women can fully exercise their civil rights.

If Biden cares so much about women, why did he stay in the Democratic race while every single woman dropped out?

Who Pooped Joe Biden’s Pants?

Personally, I believe every woman in the world is an individual human being, with individual thoughts and feelings. Not a faceless drone. Not part of some amorphous group that needs me to save them. That’s probably because I’m a male chauvinist pig. So I wouldn’t presume to tell women how to respond to Biden’s patronizing rhetoric. But here are a few women’s reactions:

These women want to be self-sufficient and free of government interference by meddling, cynical politicos. They scoff at the idea that in order to “fully participate” in American life, they need to rely on a doddering old man who’s spent most of his adult life as a Washington parasite.

What a bunch of ingrates!

It’s funny that Joe “Grandpa Handsy” Biden is trying to appeal to women this way. But COVID-19 the Chinese virus has really benefitted his campaign, because it’s been months since he was caught on camera rubbing himself all over every female in sight like a huge creep. Some voters might’ve already forgotten what a repulsive pervert he is.

But this paternalistic garbage should appeal to the sort of feminist, and “male feminist,” who actually believes America is or soon will be The Handmaid’s Tale. If you think your failures in life are the fault of some vague group you’ve chosen to hate — in this case, white men like, uh, Joe Biden — then you’ll gladly take what’s given to you by someone who claims to care about you.

Biden Wants You to Believe Women, Unless They’re Named Tara Reade
Watch the Joy Drain Out of Stacey Abrams’ Face as Biden Doesn’t Announce Her as His VP
What Is Joe Biden Hiding? U of Delaware Refuses to Hand Over Docs, Prompting Lawsuit