Closeted Republican Infiltrates Obama White House, Faces Possible Death

New York magazine has a little fun with the latest addition to the Obama White House: “Did Sunny Obama Begin Life As Pink, a Well-Bred Puppy From a Republican Home?”

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Sunny Obama’s birth certificate has yet to be released — where is Donald Trump when you need him? — and the White House is being tight-lipped about the origins of the First Family’s new Portuguese water dog puppy. But Daily Intelligencer has found a trail of evidence that seems to solve the mysteries around Washington, D.C.’s most adorable new media spectacle.

The official White House announcement of Sunny’s entry into the Obama family offered only a few sparse details, including that the puppy came from Michigan and was born in June of last year. In the small world of PWD breeders, however, that was enough to signal that the dog was almost certainly born in the small town of Attica, just east of Flint, where Amy Durkin Lane operates a breeding facility, Allegiance PWDs, out of her ten-acre country home. Not only is Lane the only registered Portie breeder in Michigan listed on the PWD Club of America’s website, she confirmed to Daily Intelligencer that one of her dogs gave birth to a litter of eight puppies last June — including two females with Sunny-style curly hair, which is actually a rarity in the PWD world. (Despite Bo making the breed famous, most owners prefer the more dominant wavy do that is considered traditional.) Moreover, one of those females also has black feet — same as Sunny.

Lane, on vacation in Florida yesterday, didn’t deny that one of her puppies was now living in the White House, but she had “no comment at this time.” Her mother, however, posted to Facebook that Lane was being contacted by reporters who have “suspected she is the breeder of the new Obama dog Sunny.” Lane’s sister promptly chastised her mother on Facebook for divulging something that “was not public knowledge,” and the mother’s post was promptly deleted. For what it’s worth, she does identify herself on Facebook as a Republican.

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Sunny better watch herself — having now been outed, this might not end well for her

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