'Breaking: Man Wielding Assault Blanket Shuts Down Oberlin College'

Does the KKK run amok at Oberlin College in Ohio? Probably not. Or as Rod Dreher writes, “Honestly, Oberlin. Honestly:”

This is like the secular liberal version of a hillbilly Bible college have a collective conniption because somebody thinks they saw a devil worshiper peeing in a parking lot. Those Oberlin people are an excitable bunch. Get this: there was only one witness to this Phantom Klucker, and … well, read for yourself:

Lt Mike McCloskey of Oberlin police told the Guardian on Monday that officers were still following up the KKK sighting, but suggested that the only witness may have been mistaken.

“Officers checked the area and were unable to locate anybody. College security later saw a student wrapped in a blanket.”

They shut the college down and are forcing everyone to go to a day of political re-education and communal shrieking because of Linus Van Pelt.

It costs over $50,000 per year to attend this pants-wetting academy.

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Meanwhile, note this quote, found in the local TV news report that Drudge linked to yesterday:

“I came to Oberlin believing in the progressive history of Oberlin,” said student Warren Harding. “The first to admit African-Americans and women. But still realizing the challenges that these marginalized groups have had at Oberlin.”

Wait ’til Warren Harding(!) discovers the actions and worldview of his namesake’s immediate predecessor in the White House. Progressive history, indeed.

As for more recent “Progressive” history, “Oberlin College: Still manufacturing hate crimes hoaxes after all these years,” Michelle Malkin writes. Read the whole thing.

(Headline via Twitter user Loren Heal, found in this post at Twitchy.)

Update: “Lena Dunham Tweets About a Racist Towel and AP Goes Just Bananapants With It.”

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