With Presidential Candidates, It's Pick Your Poison

Basically, we have a situation where everyone is forced to ingest a poison. But, we get to vote on what poison that is. Some of the poisons could possibly kill us, while others may only cause severe nausea and vomiting. Let's say you find a poison you're pretty sure will only make you sick. Do you then get all excited, throw a big party, and tell everyone, "Let's guzzle lots of this! It will be great! It tastes like burning!"

No, that's idiotic. Yet it's what people do every presidential year. We get to pick which manipulative, duplicitous bastard gets to wield power, and we act like it's some sports game where we're supposed to cheer our side. But it's nowhere near as innocuous as a ball being moved back and forth on a field. We may prefer one outcome, but let's not act like it's something to get excited about. Let's finally keep things in perspective.

Everyone talks about hating how partisan things have gotten, and a much easier solution than foolishly learning to like and trust politicians on the other side more is that we all strive to hate all politicians more equally. And we all have to cut the cheering nonsense to the point that someone who starts getting all excited about a politician is looked at the same way as someone who would stand up in a hospital waiting room and yell, "Yay! Colonoscopy!" Because we don't want to all end up like those sad, miserable people pretending to be enthusiastic for Hillary ("She's a great poison, really! Finally aged! Did I mention she's a woman? That's different. I can't stop crying!").

So let's treat the 2016 election like the dour, annoying thing it is. And if our preferred poison wins, let's just drink it with no mirth. If we stop acting like we love the stuff, maybe in the future people will at least learn to water it down more.