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Why Are Liberals Still Angry?

This was the best chance they could ever possibly imagine, and it's already pretty much over. Liberal ideas are still in the ghetto. While conservatives can still openly call themselves conservatives and argue directly for things they like (such as gun rights and free markets), liberals still have to run from their label and never dare say out loud the things they want, such as socialism and single-payer health care. How could liberals not see this coming? Are they not as smart as they think?

Having to even contemplate such a horrible possibility is enough to drive a liberal mad.

So they lash out. Since they are obviously so smart (obviously!), the only reason anyone could oppose them is that the person is stupid and evil. Thus everyone protesting must be a stupid racist. It's the only conclusion possible without having to reexamine the central tenet that liberals are super smart and should totally run everything. And if you were under the delusion that you were surrounded by stupid racists who won't listen to your obviously smart ideas, wouldn't you be pretty angry all the time?

So what to do? Conservatives are stuck with the increasingly impotent Obama until at least 2012, so even as the public is like, "Oh yeah; we hate liberals. Why did we vote for one?" it's not like there are going to be any opportunities to pass conservative legislation any time soon.

Or can there be?

Since it seems there is nothing to stop the left from being crazy angry, let's just see how insane we can make them. Then we can get them to direct that anger at Obama.

The far-left (like the Kos Kids) didn't even like Obama in the beginning of the Democratic primary; they liked Edwards (because of how smart they are). Now Obama has shown that he's not the most adept politician, but he will eventually figure out that he's going to have to do a few centrist-to-right-leaning things if he doesn't want everyone (who matters) to hate him.

That will just start stirring up the left with: "He's a betrayer! We had our best opportunity to enact liberalism, and he squandered it!" Then they'll start screeching and shaking their cages and throwing poo and probably even using racial epithets until Obama just can't stand the left anymore (see former Democratic vice-presidential candidate Joe Lieberman).

Now, it's a complex thing to get someone to change his political philosophy, but I have found that the most reliable motivator is spite. And we've all seen the angry left-wing loons. If you had crazed hatred directed at you by that many useless people, wouldn't you want to respond with spite?

Americans don't like liberalism. Obama was only elected because Americans like people who say happy things, but it was in no way meant as an endorsement of liberalism. As liberals start to realize this, they're only going to get screechier and angrier. So we might as well figure out a way to use that.

Who knows, maybe one day we can even figure out how to direct it against America's enemies.