Who Are You Calling Intellectually Incurious?

Perhaps a review of the top ten essential qualifications of the intellectually curious is in order:

(1)  Attendance and graduation from an Ivy League university (best if transcripts are mysteriously missing, sealed, or have been shot into space, and/or no one is able or willing to remember anything about your accomplishments).

(2)  Teaching at an Ivy League university, particularly if your classes mostly end in “studies.”

(3)  Having once taught at an Ivy League university or any university commonly known as a bastion of the left, particularly if there is little evidence you ever taught a class.

(4)  Membership in the Democratic, Socialist, or Communist Parties (but I repeat myself), and slavish devotion to the associated philosophy and doctrine.

(5)  Being a Democrat elected official (extra IQ points awarded to U.S. representatives and senators willing to bash America and George W. Bush).

(6)  Being a member of the legacy media (extra IQ points above and beyond any politician are self-awarded).

(7)  Being a pundit/commentator on any cable TV network other than Fox, particularly if you are required to have regular examinations for rabies.

(8)  Being Barack Obama (IQ, self-regard off the charts; how does one rate a light worker?).

(9)  No actual evidence of accomplishment. Ever.

(10)  Being one of any combination of the above plus having married -- at least once (twice is better) -- a ridiculous wealthy leftist woman.

Let’s review the essential qualifications of the intellectually incurious:

(1)  A conservative who has beaten his betters in any electoral contest (but particularly national), regardless of any other factor of background, education, accomplishment, etc.

(2)  Sarah Palin.

But what are we to understand when the intellectually curious by self-acclamation prove themselves to be anything but?  Just a few cases in point:

(1)  David Brooks, what passes for a conservative at the New York Times, drooling over the crease in Barack Obama’s pants and concluding from that crease that Obama would be a “very good president.” One shudders to imagine what Mr. Brooks might have concluded should he have glimpsed Mr. Obama’s underwear.

(2) David Brooks expressing his everlasting man love for Mr. Obama, who was apparently able to construct several consecutive sentences with “Edmund Burke” in them.

(3) David Gregory of NBC news, upon observing Mr. Obama swat a fly, falling into a fit of man-loving rapture at the significance of the accomplishment such that he had to observe that swatting a fly wasn’t “easy,” and was a feat that would take him many hours; accompanied by Meredith Vieira and John Harwood of the Today Show who were similarly smitten; accompanied by ABC’s Good Morning America’s Chris Cuomo, who observed that such martial arts skill is “very rare”;  accompanied by Chris Wragge of CBS who announced that he had just confirmed that “the president is a ninja.”

(4)  Senator John Kerry, making one of the most tone-deaf, politically dense proclamations of all time: “I voted for the 86 billion before I voted against it.”

(5)  Wall Street Journal reporter Sudeep Reddy criticizing Sarah Palin’s assertion that grocery prices have risen in the last year and the Obama administration's QE2 policy “would push them even higher.” Palin (to the intellectually curious, the most intellectually incurious human being who has ever lived) pointed out that a November 4 article in the Wall Street Journal made precisely that point. Ooops.

(6)  Chris Matthews of MSNBC’s Hardball dealing with Obama Onset Tingling Leg Syndrome (OOTLS).

(7) Any and every politician suffering from Bush Derangement Syndrome (BDS).

So it would seem that the intellectually curious are afflicted with serious cases of Pants Worship (PW), Foot In Mouth Disease (FIMD), Faux-Masculinity Worship (FMW), BDS, OOTLS, Wall Street Journal I-Can’t-Read-My-Own-Newspaper-Syndrome (ICRMONS), and Lack of Actual Accomplishment Syndrome (LAAS).

The intellectually incurious, on the other hand, seem to get elected and seem to actually accomplish things. The most recent election results -- and common sense -- reveal that:

(1)  Americans like that;

(2)  Anyone calling someone else intellectually incurious, is, and;

(3)  It would be a good idea to be curious about Lisa Murkowski’s political identity.