When They Call You a Nazi, You've Won the Immigration Argument

A question was posed to me: “How can a cop tell if someone might be an illegal alien?” To which I answered, “There are some no one could spot, and there are some just about anyone could spot.”

There are some, in fact, even a blind person could spot. If you were to come to Los Angeles and, indulging your adventurous streak, make your way to, say, the corner of Seventh and Alvarado Streets, a bustling crossroad at most hours of the day, you could stand on the sidewalk and swing a dead cat till your arms ached and have little worry of inconveniencing even a single American citizen. Not only that, but there is a fair chance you and your cat will have smacked at least one illegal immigrant engaged in the enterprise of selling drugs or counterfeit identification cards to the others.

Every cop who works that area knows these things. Every cop who has ever worked that area for the last thirty years knows these things.

And yet these conditions persist. But this is Los Angeles, California, after all, which politically speaking is a universe away from our neighboring state of Arizona. Here in California, our elected officials tolerate and even encourage such conditions as an incidental cost of maintaining our vibrant multicultural tapestry. But over there in Arizona, home of Barry Goldwater, don’t you know, the people have said, “Enough!” Or, perhaps more accurately, “¡Basta!

Other pursuits have prevented me from paying much attention to the news lately, but what I gather from some of the heated commentary on Arizona’s new immigration law is that police officers in that state have now been empowered to snatch up all of the following:

  • Anyone who speaks Spanish.

  • Anyone who speaks English but with a Spanish accent.

  • Anyone whose skin pigmentation is swarthy beyond a prescribed limit.

  • Anyone with an inordinate penchant for spicy food.

Anyone who, though not exhibiting any of the above characteristics, engenders even the slightest suspicion that he might be an illegal immigrant.