When Taxes Attack, Make Sure Your Gun Is Loaded

Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota caused a little controversy by saying we should all be "armed and dangerous" on the issue of energy taxes. Some thought that was silly because you can't actually physically fight against taxes, right?

Poppycock! I've never met a problem that couldn't be solved by proper firearm usage, and taxes are certainly no exception. If you don't believe me, just take a look at California. It's one of the most difficult states for a law-abiding citizen who wants to own a gun. It also has some of the worst taxes. In fact, taxes have swarmed the entire state and rendered it nearly uninhabitable by human beings; they writhe on it like maggots on a corpse. And if you look over the rest of the country, you'll notice that the other states with the strictest gun control also have the highest taxes. The only rational conclusion is that taxes can be fought off with guns.

The power to tax is the power to destroy, and make no mistake -- Barack Obama intends to destroy us all! To go along with all of his unprecedented spending, he will soon unleash the taxes upon us, and they will swarm us, much like those bugs from Starship Troopers, destroying everything in their path without thought or compassion; they're like piranhas without the self-control. No amount of pleading for your financial life or your family's welfare will stop them, and no structure can ever be built strong enough to protect you from taxes. The only way to stop it is to fight back. So go ahead and grab you gun -- which you should have, as an American. If you don't have a gun, check to make sure you're not actually in Europe. If you are, then it's too late for you; the taxes will soon consume you, so make peace with your gods. For all others, here are tips for fighting back against taxes: