Washington's Stimulus-Based Life Forms

Sometimes, a little delay can be a good thing.

In preparing this column, I was ready to tentatively accept the idea that NASA scientists had indeed discovered "a bacterium that can grow by using arsenic instead of phosphorus."

Only days after the supposedly earthshaking news appeared, it turns out, upon further review ("This Paper Should Not Have Been Published"), that the scientists' claim seems to have as much credibility as the global warming nonsense emanating from NASA's James Hansen -- the wealth redistribution advocate -- who masquerades as a serious scientist. So it looks like it's back to the drawing board in attempts to find a form of life which uses something other than phosphorous to, per Slate's Carl Zimmer, "build the backbone of its DNA."

Here's my suggestion: Move the search team from Mono Lake in California, where the highly suspect results originated, to inside the Washington, D.C., Beltway. Then take a really close look at the DNA of the hard leftists and policymakers who reside there. Start with those in the White House, the Congress, and the Federal Reserve, up to and including President Obama and Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke. I believe you'll find that their DNA has dispensed with the need for phosphorous, and that it completely depends instead on "stimulus."

No matter what economic problem presents itself, their answer is always the same: more stimulus.

Congressional Democrats and the White House, including what remains of the president's economic team, have fed on the never-ending continuation of unemployment benefits since the second half of 2008, when the seasonally adjusted unemployment rate first reached 6%. That time period just so happens to be when the ill effects of what I have been calling the POR (Pelosi-Obama-Reid) economy began to really take hold.

As of when I transmitted this column, the proposed framework for allowing the current tax system to stay in place for everybody during the next two years included yet another unemployment benefits extension, this time for 13 months. According to Nancy Pelosi, distributing unemployment checks is "one of the biggest stimuluses to our economy." Stimulus-dependent politicians believe that the otherwise broke unemployed will immediately run out and spend it all, which will supposedly make the economy grow and cause businesses to have to hire more people to meet the demand.