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Want to Save Real Money in D.C.?

Males do not have any offices of men’s health in the Department of Health and Human Services. But females have five offices of women’s health strategically located at the Food and Drug Administration, the National Institutes of Health, the Centers for Disease Control, the Health Resources and Services Administration, and the Office of the Assistant Secretary for Health.

So if women wish to be paragons of gender equality, I’m certain taxpayers will applaud this $4 billion savings.

The Republican Study Committee needs to take a close, hard look at these programs, as well:

1. Office of Child Support Enforcement (no proof of the program’s effectiveness, except for putting destitute dads behind bars) -- $4 billion

2. Violence Against Women Act (no evidence this Clinton-era hold-over has done anything other than break up families) -- $1 billion

3. Perkins Vocational Education Act, which trains women to become car mechanics, welders, and lumberjacks (yes, really!) -- $100 million

4. TANF (Temporary Assistance to Needy Families) Family Violence Option (bon-bons for aspiring Welfare Queens) -- $63 million

Then we need to rid ourselves of the various and sundry women’s advisory committees such as the Defense Advisory Committee on Women in the Services (DACOWITS). (Not to be confused with the now-defunct gender advisory commission aptly named LACK-O-WITS.)

And let’s not forget the hulking monstrosity that lurks on the East River, sometimes referred to as the United Nations. Referring to it as a “beast,” House Foreign Affairs chair Ileana Ros-Lehtinen recently proposed eliminating funding from the UN Human Rights Council.

And why not make it a clean sweep? Take out the UN Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women, the Women’s Development Fund (UNIFEM), and other UN gender-agenda programs, too.

And for the squeamish and chivalrous in our midst, keep this fact in mind: There is no such thing as a sensible feminist. Just when you think you’ve come up with a happy meeting of the minds, she’ll come forth with yet another tale of downtrodden women.

And no doubt you’ll end up feeling like a quisling of the impious patriarchy.