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Tim Tebow, Step Aside

Marprelate’s remarks are by no means anomalous. America has taken Taj Tariq to its bosom. Prayer rugs have outstripped keffiyehs and Palestinian flags in market sales. “No home should be without one” goes the current advertising slogan. These tapestries of faith are regularly unrolled before the TV set in millions of American homes during the telecast of football games. Even the disaffected youth of the Occupy Wall Street movement have been sleeping on them, and corporate millionaires rarely fly without their monogrammed and decorative runners.

Lionized on the popular TV program The View as a Muslim “hunk with spunk,” Tariq admonished his female hosts for unseemly levity and recommended the sartorial modesty of the burqa. “After all,” he opined, “we wear uniforms and padding,” and continued, “What’s good for the camel is good for the mule.” Tariq had no doubt that his “view” would be vigorously supported by the vast majority of American feminists, and he has not been disappointed in his conviction. In a subsequent interview with the Washington Post’s Joe Btfsplk, Tariq praised America for its hospitality to Islam in all its manifestations and for its recognition of the Islamic donation to American life, adding that the next step would be the complete embrace of the Muslim faith. “As a touchdown must be converted,” he observed, “so too must Americans convert to Islam if the game is to be won.”

Americans appear to be complying. Some have even been heard to cry, “Taj Tariq for president!” The frenzy that has become known as Tariqing is now sweeping the nation as people from all walks of life cast themselves to the ground in ardent worship, mimicking the piety of Taj Tariq before each and every enterprise of moment. And the phenomenon is spreading rapidly as America belatedly acknowledges both the Islamic gift to the NFL and the Islamico-Socialist foundation of Western civilization.

(Also read Andrew Klavan: "Tebowing for Tebow")