Through the Teleprompter Glass

Dateline: The White House, Washington, D.C., Wednesday, November 3, 2010.

Today is the day after the day that I have to admit was not one of my best days.

Dead people … you let me down! Especially in Illinois! I counted on your votes to carry our Democratic candidates to victory, but instead you stayed dead. This is why Chicago needs Rahm as mayor; he knows how to get dead people to the polls.

And you ACORNS? So helpful in 2008 … what happened? Did you all grow into big trees, anchored to the ground and unable to get to the polls?

I am especially disappointed with all of you in the New Black Panther Party.

You so effectively intimidated voters in Philly for me during the last election with your billy clubs and paramilitary uniforms. What the heck happened yesterday? Were you hiding from Fox News?

But today is not for finger pointing.

My daughter Sasha said to me this morning at breakfast, "Dad, you really took a whuppin’ last night.” And I said, "No, not a whuppin’; I was just having a teachable moment."

She asked me what I learned and I told her I learned I can no longer blame President George W. Bush for all our nation’s problems. So from this day on I will delete the words “I inherited” from my teleprompter. I know you are all sick of hearing “I inherited the worst economy since the Great Depression,” “I inherited two wars,” and “I inherited a financial crisis” -- and frankly I am as well.