The Ten Most Annoying Commercials of 2010

5. Staples' "That's a Low Price"

Awful.  Just awful.  It kept me out of Staples for a month, just so I wouldn't run into that guy.  I'll pay a few cents more just to avoid all the shrieking.

4. AT&T's Orange Blankets Take Over the World

I'm a happy AT&T customer, but I hate their ads.  To be fair, I despise all cell phone ads that use folk music, which was one of 2010's more noticeable and annoying ad trends.  They're all selling us some Utopia of total connectivity, using the folksy folks to make it seem natural like wood.  Apple was the trendsetter with its iPhone ads, but the whole folk-music-to-sell-cell-phones has long outlived whatever edginess it once had.  This particular AT&T ad takes it a step further and deploys both folk music and hippy dippy performance art.  The first time you see it, the effect is kind of cool.  Everything's silky and orange! The thirtieth time, you want to smash a guitar, steal from a subway singer and take scissors to everything in site.  Or maybe that's just me.

3. Zales' Christmas campaign.

Pick any ad at all in this campaign.  They're all annoying.  In the run-up to Christmas they aired every five minutes, ruining the Black Keys' "Girl Is On My Mind" forever.

2. Progressive Man-Purse Guy

Most of Progressive's ads are a little weird, but this one's just cringe-worthy.  We're presented with a man who is forced to carry a purse by his wife, who also drags him off to do insurance shopping "even if it takes all day."  The captive eunuch even seeks sympathy from the trippy Flo, who runs Progressive's bright blight netherworld.  He only wins because Progressive lets you see what other companies charge.  But he's still going home to endless domestic tyranny. You just know that his sister-in-law is the self-centered diaper bag forgetting Sienna van mom, and she's constantly over at the house going on and on about how hot she still thinks she is and how awesome her van is, and how hot she thinks she looks driving it.  Christmas for Progressive Purse Man must have been just a total joy.  The tryptophan in the turkey cannot bring on the sweet release of sleep fast enough.

1. State Farm Guy Talks Over Cute Insurance Agent

I don't know who thought this ad up, but it's horrible for many reasons.  One, the spokesman is world class annoying.  He's smirky, smug and just...meh.  Urban, slightly foppish, just a little too much in love with himself.  Two, the entire campaign of which this ad is a part is totally inconsistent.  Sometimes State Farm Guy is part of the universe and interacts directly with its inhabitants, sometimes he's apparently outside the universe and doesn't interact with it while commenting on it, and sometimes even the camera man who's following him is observed by the inhabitants of the universe, as in the Figaro Cafe ad.  In that ad, he tells you not to call State Farm until you've tracked down one of their millions of customers and talked with them first.  Like anyone's going to do that.  Is this some sort of hipster mind trick, or just a campaign that was poorly thought through?

As for this episode, the idea that the cute agent should just stand around while State Farm Guy won't let her get a word in edgewise is just...weird.  It's part of a two-parter, with the twin ad featuring cute agent Carrie getting her revenge by talking over the exasperated State Farm Guy.  Watching both ads, you see two pretty people who have no manners and are incapable of carrying on a normal conversation. Sign me up to join that!  Who thought this ad and its twin would do anything other than irritate viewers?  In a campaign that is among the most annoying currently on the air, this ad takes the prize for most annoying of the bunch.