The 7 Worst Democratic Ads of 2012

The 2012 election season has produced a bumper crop of pro-Democratic advertisements that are so insulting, juvenile, creepy, violent, obscene, self-defeating and unintentionally counter-productive that just based on these ads alone Romney deserves to win.

Have the Democrats lost their minds? Judging from these seven pro-Obama ads, they haven't just lost their minds, but their souls too.

If you know any remaining independent undecideds waiting for some advertisement to tell them how to vote, sit them down for ten minutes to watch these seven spots, and I guarantee they'll not only vote Romney but spend the rest of today volunteering for the Republicans.

If you've been a news junkie these last couple weeks then you've likely seen all of these before, but for posterity's sake I've gathered them all together in one place so that, whatever the outcome today, historians can pinpoint the moment that politics died.

1. Murdering Republicans Is Funny!

It's impossible to go any lower than this. Romney voters are gleefully massacred due to their political beliefs, which apparently render them inhuman, therefore allowing liberals to kill them without compunction. Watch and laugh as Republicans are beheaded, shot, blown to smithereens, and have their hearts carved out with chainsaws. If that wasn't bad enough, all this carnage is enacted by a cast of racist stereotypes.

Needless to say, if a conservative had made an ad like this, he'd be in jail now.

2. Obscene Grannies Threaten to "Cockpunch" Romney Right in the Nutsack

Liberal nonprofit hired Michael Moore to make this painfully unfunny anti-Romney ad, featuring foul-mouthed grannies threatening to "burn this motherfucker down" if Romney wins and then to "cockpunch" Romney "right in the nutsack." Presumably, someone, somewhere, read the script for this piece and then saw the rough cut and actually thought it was humorous. And politically effective.

Actually, it is quite effective, but not quite in the way the makers intended. I tried to describe this ad to my own Democratic-voting mother (who doesn't have a computer), and she absolutely refused to believe that such an ad could exist. So I brought my laptop over to her house and showed her the ad as proof that my description was accurate; she was so repulsed and offended that she announced afterward that she wasn't going to vote this year because she didn't want to be associated with that kind of language. Thank you, MoveOn!