In the Belly of the Beast: The Only Conservative at a Liberal Dinner Party
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
Repeat these thoughts to yourself in your own words, revising them to express your individual views. Practice saying them calmly, matter-of-factly, and unemotionally.
Practice in the shower, as you get dressed, as you prepare dinner, or do the dishes. Keep practicing until saying these words has the same emotional weight in your mind as, “It’s looking a lot like snow” or “How 'bout those Yankees?” You’re saying what you think -- not having a panic attack in fear and trembling. Let the liberal experience the panic attack brought on by your calm statement of your views.
DON'T BE BLINDSIDED BY THE LIBERAL’S ENRAGED REACTION:
BE PREPARED TO COMMENT CALMLY ON HIS INEVITABLE TANTRUM
Expect a temper tantrum as the response to what you've said, and don’t let it surprise or unnerve you. Visually and aurally, it won’t be pretty. It is 97% likely to happen to a conservative woman speaking with a liberal man. That’s just how it is.
The liberal will become irate, perspire profusely, then shout -- often obscenely and insultingly -- at the top of his lungs, be it at a private residence or in a restaurant, attacking you personally -- you, whom he’s never met until now. Invariably, he'll question your intelligence.
Remain as calm as you can. As you witness the liberal's display of impotent rage, the adjective, "apoplectic," will come to mind. This rarely fails to happen. The combination of your well-thought-out comments, calm demeanor, and -- most intolerable of all -- the fact that you don't agree with him will drive the liberal nuts.
His abusive response is beyond his control, poor fellow. Just don’t let it catch you unawares. Be prepared to smile calmly, shake your head gently, like a patient teacher, as he wreaks verbal havoc and lapses into a bout of temporary insanity.
"At some point, you might want to explore why my views have led you to throw a tantrum, simply because they're contrary to yours," you could say with emotional detachment. "It's fascinating that you were unable to speak to me in a rational manner."
In the end, you'll have the satisfaction of having said what you think.
– Belladonna Rogers
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