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The News from Pluto: a Fable

It has been determined by the International Astronomical Union that Pluto is no longer a real planet, having been relegated to the status of a plutoid, that is, a dwarf planet circling beyond the orbit of Neptune, a mere rock of ice shambling about in the Kuiper Belt.

The planetary demotion does not sit well with the Plutoniacs, who are up in arms over the astronomical slight to their collective dignity. As PNB (Pluto National Broadcaster) reports, protests have erupted across the entire surface of the aggrieved celestial body, with intense flare-ups in Cthulhu Regio, Sputnik Planum, and Meng P’o, and bloody violence in the Brass Knuckles sector. The governing PPP (Planetary Popular Party) has lodged a sharply worded rebuke with the Astronomical Union. The minority SOC (Socialist Orbital Collective) has gone even further, threatening to mobilize the spaceforce to shoot down any passing probes and fly-bys.