The Nanny State's Work Is Never Done

The latest news from the UK is that the Home Office is busying itself with a new pub glass design, the reason for which is to stop glasses from being used as weapons in pub brawls.

The new vessel would be made of shatter-proof plastic because “official figures show 5,500 people are attacked with glasses and bottles every year in England and Wales.”

As one blog commenter said, “If you’re too young to drink from a glass mug safely, you’re too young to be drinking in a pub.”

A representative from the British Beer and Pub Association hopes the new plastic glasses will not become compulsory for a variety of reasons, including extra costs during a recession and the possibility that the quality of the beer or ale would be compromised. This is key because the Brits take their pub experience seriously. A ruined pint is sacrilege.

The designer of the new glass gave a poignant reminder: “Remember that years ago people used to drink out of pewter tankards. It could be quite a significant paradigm shift.”

Yes, but that was because the people themselves, along with industrial advances that made glassware cheaper and more plentiful, engineered that change -- not a nanny state obsessed with running citizens’ lives.

Will restaurants and private citizens next be told that they must use plasticware and paper plates? Heaven forbid someone cuts himself or drops a plate that might shatter and create an unsafe situation.

This is how tax dollars are spent in the UK? Remember the town council that spent £2,000 creating and distributing salt shakers with fewer holes in the tops to fish-and-chip shops in an attempt to curb how much customers salt their food?

It’s now official: the British bulldog has no teeth. He’ll have to gum his kibble.

This reminds me of a story from 2005, where British doctors called for a ban on sharp kitchen knives because they are used in nearly half of the stabbings that occur there. If there is a call to get rid of sharp knives and now glasses in the pub, what’s next?

The following is a list of anything that can be used as a weapon during violent crime. Which will be banned next?

  • Pillows (can be used to suffocate someone)
  • Rocks (can be used to bash in someone’s head)
  • Ropes (can be used to strangle someone)
  • Telephone cords (see ropes)
  • Kitchen twine (see ropes)
  • Gift-wrap ribbon (see ropes)
  • Scarves (see ropes)
  • Scissors (can be used to stab someone)
  • Plastic bags (see pillows)
  • Hammers (see rocks)
  • Common household cleansers (can be used to poison someone)
  • Electric appliances (you can electrocute someone by dropping one into the tub)
  • Cliffs (you can push someone off)
  • Fat (can be used to conceal weapons)
  • Cars (can either run someone over or kill someone inside during a crash)
  • Water (anyone can drown in a pool or even in a toilet if held down)
  • Human hands (can be used to punch or strangle someone or wield any of the dangerous weapons listed above)

I could go on, but you get the point.

In the UK, “the total number of violent offenses recorded compared to population is higher than any other country in Europe, as well as America, Canada, Australia, and South Africa.” If their stringent ban of handguns didnt make a difference in the rate of violent crime, I rather doubt plastic pub glasses will make much difference either.

Man is imperfect. And being imperfect, sometimes people have violent urges -- from impulsive acts due to immediate circumstances to psychopathic problems to whatever the reason. You might as well ban humanity all together.

Darn, I hope I didn’t give the Home Office any bright ideas -- or New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg or President Obama, for that matter.