Six Months of B.O.

As much as Bill Clinton’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” approach to Islamofascism revolted conservatives, and as thoroughly as the leftist nutbag brigade continues to bash the equine carcass that remains of Bush and Cheney, you’ve got to admit that compared to life under the Obama administration, the Clinton/Bush years were the “good ol’ days.”

Remember when you could take the family out for dinner once in a while and you had a place to go every weekday morning called “a job”? Remember when your wife could watch her soaps during the daytime and your primetime TV wasn’t regularly hijacked by Teleprompter Obie delivering his latest desperate pitch to the remedial reading class that Congress has become?

These mopes don’t even bother to pretend to read the confiscatory legislation cooked up by their staffers and the lobbyists attached to them at the wrist and ankle. Listening to Henry Waxman (D-Lusus Naturae) placating the Algorian lemmings on cap and trade or lip-synching Obama’s health care rationing anthem while admitting the absurdity of trying to read these legislative boondoggles reminds me of Woody Allen’s character in Annie Hall:

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in 20 minutes. It involves Russia.

Unfortunately, the rest of Obama’s agenda seems to be about Russia as well. Barackski has already empowered more czars than the Romanovs and has just broomed the auto czar who helped broker the government-assisted bankruptcy of GM and Chrysler. I guess (hat tip to comic Bob Zany) Obama just loves that new czar smell.

America’s Chicagobarry has actually placed the means of production in the hands of the gettelfingered proletariat: “Workers of the World, please provide an annual statement for the other primary shareholder -- Uncle Barack.” Before long Obamski will be rolling out five-year-plans for the remaining industries he plans to nationalize and will be embarking on a whole new round of TV tub-thumping that should have Billy Mays rolling in his grave.

It would be different if Obama had actually hired a capable hand or two to help around the White House. You would think that by accident he might have made at least one good hiring decision. Remember when they called the staff assembled by JFK “the best and brightest”? The Obama squad is the least and the slightest. While simpering Tim Geithner at Treasury makes Eddie Haskell look forthcoming and sincere, Vice President Joe Biden continues to make Dan Quayle look like Stephen Hawking. Did they even bother to fill in those holes that the hair club for gasbags drilled in Biden’s head?

Meanwhile Hillary Clinton and Janet Napolitano vie for the “Emptiest and Least Attractive Pantsuit in a Color Not Found on this Planet” title and Eric Holder peeks one eye out from under the blindfold of the B.O. Justice Department as he deals the race-card from the bottom of the stacked deck he picked up at the Black Panthers gift shop.

Thank God that most of the B.O. nepotism has been bestowed upon Chicagoland affirmative action non-entities that haven’t even figured out how to get into the news cycle yet.

It is no surprise then that Barry and The Underachievers have bollixed up both American domestic and foreign policy. Despite a near-trillion dollar stimulus plan hyped by the world’s least effective car salesman, the American economy founders along on two cylinders. Americans continue to look anxiously in the rear-view mirror to see if the promise from our national head of human resources to “save or create 3 to 4 million jobs by 2010” is going to pan out. So far, I count three or four jobs saved for Black Panthers let off the hook and perhaps a hundred thousand UAW jobs rescued by flushing the future of Chrysler and GM down the toilet. I’m sure it won’t be long before thousands of windmill propeller technicians and solar panel sunscreen applicators begin to beef up Obama’s highly touted green jobs numbers.

On the foreign policy front, Barry’s world apologia tour has taken a hiatus after bowing and scraping before a vile collection of despots once considered America’s worst enemies. And that’s just counting the Democrat committee chairpersons in Congress. B.O. continues to try to make silk purses out of the sows’ ears that lead the world’s totalitarian states. From fizzle-king Kim-Jong-Il and Mahmoud Ahmedinajad (the only world leaders wearing Members Only jackets), to the loony leftists of the new Latin America, Barely the President wants to chat with them all and start a “Take a Dictator to Work” program. In just six short months, B.O. has joined Hugo Chavez’s Stalinist Book of the Month Club, weaseled onto both sides of the Iranian elections and ensuing demonstrations (while somehow managing to look wrong on each side), and joined Chavez, Danny Ortega, and the Castro brothers in assailing the results of due process and democracy in Honduras. His Department of State is weaker than circus lemonade, with the entire B.O. foreign policy apparatus looking as though it were crafted by a United Nations peace-keeping mission on ecstasy.

When Barack Obama came into office, he seemed like the captain of the Love Boat. A mere six months of B.O., and it’s beginning to feel more like the Hate Boat. With another six months of irresponsible fiscal policy and voracious spending coupled with Obama’s weak-kneed and sophomoric approach to foreign relations, we might be sunk.