Secretary Clinton Speaks the, er, Truth

Secretary Clinton delivered an address on May 11 at the 41st Washington Conference on the Americas. Here are some of its lowlights.

Climate Change We Must Believe In

[W]e are building flexible multilateral partnerships to help us address the strategic challenges we face. Pathways to Prosperity and the Energy and Climate Partnership of the Americas are promoting inclusive growth and sustainable energy security. Mexico’s leadership in Cancun late last year was absolutely crucial in putting the world on a path toward greater cooperation to confront climate change, and it was a Mexican proposal for the Green Fund that will serve as the vehicle for assisting developing countries in meeting their climate needs.

“Flexible” -- as in shifting with the wind? Persistently but inflexibly screwing things up to Win the Future or something? Dealing decisively with that old demon dihydrogen monoxide, er, man-made climate change, and how best to (wring money from the United States) tackle such horrors is of crucial importance to the future of … well, somebody or some species. Carbon credit exchanges must be preserved; it’s for the children.

All twenty thousand international delegates at the Cancun Conference were obviously well up to the task before them. Not only that, they probably dropped a bit of change (or at least hope) in lovely Cancun, thus stimulating the Mexican economy. Maybe some jobs were saved or created; maybe some were simultaneously saved and created. And, as President Obama himself seems to know, the only way to create or save jobs is through an equal partnership with Gaia.

Shared (Democrat)ic Values

[W]e continue to work to advance our shared democratic values. Now, Latin America has undergone a stunning transformation over the past few decades, but we cannot afford complacency. We have to keep working on institutionalizing democracy and preserving and protecting fundamental freedoms.

Now, in Honduras we have seen how effective that kind of common approach can be. And now that the obstacles to former President Zelaya’s return to Honduras have been removed, I am confident that we will soon welcome Honduras back as a full member of the inter-American system. That is a step that is long overdue.

Stunning changes? Just look at Venezuela! True Democratic values for sure. If a septic tank is unavailable, Venezuela is well on its way to becoming a great vacation destination. Great food is readily available, there’s no need to worry about disease, and some fine exercise can be enjoyed, democratically.

[T]he high level of medical care means [disease] is not a cause for concern; it’s just great: prompt, efficient, and compassionate. Violent crime may upset some (only in urban and rural areas), but it promotes running and other forms of worthwhile exercise. With a bit of luck, it can be even more exhilarating than other extreme but more expensive sports such as bungee jumping; Winston Churchill once said, “Nothing in life is so exhilarating as being shot at without effect.”

As suggested before, President Obama and his lovely lady should go there and enjoy the unspeakable bounties Venezuela offers to all, rich and poor, local and foreign. Why weren’t they in Mexico’s beautiful Cancun for the Save Us Now (SUN) conference?

Effectiveness of a common approach in solving the problems of Honduras? No, not “threats to shoot police officers and at least one passage calling for the 'burn[ing]' of former President George W. Bush.” It’s just that former (nice word, “former”) President Zelaya is going back to Honduras, finally. Splendid, if he gets to enjoy Honduran hospitality in one of her jails, but that’s probably not what the Obama administration has in mind. Zelaya was Hugo Chávez’s pick to get an unconstitutional additional term of office, was removed from office by the Honduran Congress and Supreme Court in accord with the Honduran Constitution (“the worst in the world,” so the international community should “help” their little brown brothers to fix it), and escorted out of the country by the Honduran military, the latter unfortunately thought necessary to avoid violence. Now, Honduras needs to have him back to promote domestic tranquility and reconciliation. Right. So, since the United States couldn’t get him back earlier that’s what she is still trying to accomplish:

Ambassador Llorens and the U.S. government have continued to hammer Honduras for a year and a half to drop all corruption charges against Zelaya. Most of the original charges have already been dropped due to that pressure but still remaining are the minor difficulties of the well documented L.40 million cash withdrawal from the Central Bank of Honduras four days before the planned election, the L.10 million check paid to the order of the presidency cashed at the Central Bank two days later, and the L.30 million that Zelaya diverted from FHIS (aid money for social investment) to use for cuarta urna campaign publicity.