Saving Guam from Capsizing All in a Day's Work for U.S. Congressmen

This is probably only going to lead to more trouble down the road, as the American people are still whining about jobs -- like that means anything to anyone. Thus, they probably won't understand why in a time like this we need cap and trade to make energy more expensive and amnesty to make illegal immigration easier. They'll probably just look at those proposals and say, "Isn't that going to make the economy worse?" And the only honest answer the politicians have to that is, "No one cares; shut up." The whole planet could either melt or freeze due to global climate change warming, so how exactly is whether the average citizen can afford to supersize his combo meal of any relevance compared to that?

Again, this is a simple concept you'd think anyone could understand. Politicians are smart, so just shut up and get out of their way. But American citizens keep coming up with the oddest objections to what politicians are trying to do. Representative Phil Hare was explaining how he was using his miraculous legislative powers to cure all sick people, and do you know what someone asked him? Whether it was constitutional.

What the hell? What does that have to do with anything? So Rep. Hare, quite startled by this idiocy, said, "I don't worry about the Constitution." Why would anyone worry about the Constitution? If it ever comes up, you just wave your hand and say, "Commerce Clause!" and that should cover it. Yet people are convinced we have to be concerned about what that old, useless document actually means. Do we really want to be held hostage by what a bunch of long-dead, violent libertarians (they actually formed militias and shot British people!) thought a government should be? They wrote a whole document telling a government what it couldn't do; how does that help sick people?

If anything, the Constitution has been nothing but a menace to politicians. Because of it, we're currently stuck with democracy. Thus the morons who make up America actually have power, which is why politicians can't just ignore them and do their important work. Luckily, as more and more of the economy is controlled by the government and thus politicians, democracy can do less and less damage to the politicians' plans. Thus this disconnect will become less and less relevant, as citizens will lack the power to do anything with their inane objections.

Politicians are our best and brightest, the sort of people who know the internet is not like a truck but instead is a series of tubes, so we want them to control as much as possible. Only through their leadership can we stabilize this entire continent and keep it from capsizing. And if you think a continent can't capsize, then what do you think happened to Atlantis?

Yeah, they didn't listen to their politicians either.