Rahm's 'Chicago Way' Campaign for Mayor

Like Zimbabwe and Transnistria, Chicago’s politics have somewhat tarnished its reputation as of late. Admittedly, from a tourism perspective, foisting Barack Obama on America did not inspire confidence. President Obama transferred our city’s massive unemployment and debt to the country at large. Conservatives in particular now hold a grudge against the City of Broad Scammers for launching my former senator’s career. Blaming Chicago for what probably is the worst presidency in our nation’s history is a tenuous proposition. Yet, given the mad cavalcade of losers currently seeking to replace Richard Daley the Second as mayor, the allegation cannot be easily dismissed.

An election will be held on February 22nd and should former Obama administration Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel win, the connection between Chitown dysfunction and Washington, D.C., soon will become rhodium-clad.

Mr. Emanuel, a career politician and longtime drama queen, has all the intangibles needed to capture City Hall: he is a Democrat, has a bag full of money, and is also a close associate of President Obama.

Polls show him to be the favorite. The media is behind him as is the Democratic Party establishment. However, just a month ago, his victory was by no means certain.

Emanuel’s negatives are legion. As a person, he is known by many but liked by few. His tenure as principal Obama flunky was memorable for two reasons and neither of them good.

First, a televised interview wherein he clarified for disinterested third parties just how power mad and manipulative leftists actually are. His quote, “You never want a serious crisis to go to waste,” proved useful to conservatives. It illustrated well the “end justifies the means” mentality that currently contaminates the Democratic Party.

Second was the degenerate incident in which a presidential chief of staff ran around harassing assorted representatives in the Congressional gymnasium “naked as a jaybird.” How could he resist? A major statist initiative was at stake.

Despite the unsavory aspects of his character, Emanuel’s lead seems overwhelming. He needs 50 percent of the total (plus 1) to win the election and avoid a runoff. He may already have it. Intrade places his odds at winning at 96 percent (or higher).

The whole process demoralizes conservatives. Disaster portends as we have no dog in the fight. The Chicago machine has conspired to keep any Republican from appearing on the ballot which leaves the field devoid of potential heroes.

Why they did so is easy to answer. Anyone with the gumption to call for serious budget cuts or slash the inflated salaries of city workers could impress the public. Some might assert that the civic situation cannot get any worse. This is incorrect and easily refuted by the single word: “Detroit.”

The Democratic Party cannot allow an alternative perspective to be heard because increasing bloated government is their business. Without any rightists, citizens must choose between the aforementioned scammer, a racist laughingstock who believes campaign contributions are for the purpose of never going “hungry again,” a shady party insider, and a lady who (seriously) boasts of being a community activist.