President Obama changes his name
Although not widely reported, President Obama has finally changed his name to Barrack T. Obama. The "T" is for Transparent, more au courant than the previously used "H" standing for Humble. This happened during an undisclosed ceremony held across the street from the White House shortly after BTO received a major transparency award from the open government community in late March. With characteristic humility, BTO accepted the coveted transparency award "in a closed, undisclosed meeting at the White House."
In keeping with having put "into place the toughest ethics laws of any Administration in history [pause] in history," BTO is doing his very best to ensure true governmental transparency and is thereby leading the way to a smaller and more efficient federal government. An historic first, BTO is even letting the little people know about all important White House visitors (except for a few insignificant visitors such as lobbyists as well as others met across the street and hence not logged in at the White House).
It has therefore become entirely appropriate to limit any ethics or other investigations of his supporters such as the SEIU and to ensure that those conducting any investigations will know where not to look. This will reduce the potential for wasteful Department of Justice and other federal efforts to conceal any lack of corruption and wrongly alleged lack of transparency of which, of course, there is none. Looking for that sort of thing will now be like looking for a black cat in a dark closet that isn't there, as all right thinking people who know how to be the masters of their own words understand.