Pimp Your Mosque!

And you thought speech codes only existed on your local public radio. The mullahs have been perfecting the magic of word games too, and with great efficiency. For instance, the above document can be used as proof that there is no prostitution in Iran.

Obviously, it is not sex tourism as long as they call it "visiting holy shrines." It is not sexual exploitation as long as the clients are called "brothers" and the whores are called "sisters." It is not a brothel as long as you call it a "Bureau." It is not prostitution as long as it is called "temporary marriage," the hustler is a mullah, and the pimp cut is an "obligatory donation."

See? No prostitution whatsoever. Just like there are no homosexuals in Iran. Sanctimonious language works every time whenever an irrational culture keeps people blind to reality, compelling them to judge others by what they say and not by what they do.

The mullahs are very peculiar about maintaining a highly moral society. And the society plays along, by exhibiting a highly moral behavior. And what happens in the Shrine of the Eighth Imam, stays in the Shrine of the Eighth Imam.

You may still be smirking about the new definition of "temporary employment agency." Or yucking that the meaning of "brothers" and "sisters" will never be the same again. And it may be a while before you stop associating the word "honeymoon" with the crescent on top of a mosque.

But don't be in a hurry to act superior. It seems ridiculous only because you're not accustomed to it. There are similarly ridiculous absurdities with which you grew up in your own culture without giving them much thought, or gave up fighting them.

For example, haven't you yourself swallowed and digested -- at least partially -- similarly sanctimonious speech codes of the American mainstream media? The political correctness as practiced by educators, entertainers, and politicians, who believe that a change of words can somehow change the objective reality?

The details may be different on the surface, but the core belief is the same -- the game of banning, promoting, and inventing words puts them in control of your mind. At least in this respect, East and West appear to be sharing the same values.

Generally speaking, the Islamic culture is rather restrictive. But with a pious decorum and all the correct words, anything goes -- from pedophilia to wholesale slaughter. Just don't forget to call it love, peace, friendship, tolerance, or sensitivity. And keep repeating "in the name of Allah who is most gracious and merciful" -- bismillah al rahman al rahim -- as often as you can.

The sanctimonious disguise can go a long way -- even as far as New York, where you can build a mosque next to the ruins of Ground Zero and call it "a friendship center." As an added bonus, you get the moral right to malign the protesting Americans as "bigots" -- and do so with a full backing on part of New York's "useful intellectuals" -- a small but powerful sect with an extremely sanctimonious culture of their own.

Technically, the Muslim clerics behind the Ground Zero mosque are not the same as the Iranian mullahs, but their religionist tactics and belief in Sharia are identical. And although the New York sect is of a secular variety, it is also just as pious and self-delusional. Just as it is with the mullahs, anything is permissible here -- from pedophilia to theft to wholesale slaughter -- as long as one claims good intentions and uses a politically correct language, like love, peace, friendship, tolerance, sensitivity, or economic equality and justice. Based on emotion rather than reason, the sect's irrational culture keeps its adepts blind to reality and compels them to judge others by their words rather than by their deeds.

And that is why the New York sect has no objections to Sharia, as long as its proponents use all the right words. The two sects seem to understand each other so well because on a deeper level they both speak the same language. That makes them natural allies. At least for the time being.