Obama's new gay rights strategy? FAIL. Check out MY new gay rights strategy.

As various sites reported today, President Obama has just issued a new "directive" (or "memorandum" or "strategy" -- no one can quite agree what to call it) in which, as the New York Times put it, "the United States would use all the tools of American diplomacy, including the potent enticement of foreign aid, to promote gay rights around the world."

Tina Korbe at Hot Air rightly characterizes the directive as "insincere" and "symbolic," but I think that criticism is far too mild. A more accurate description might be "hypocritical mealy-mouthed horse shit." Why? Because Obama doesn't really want to promote gay rights in foreign countries — he just wants to lock up the American gay vote in the 2012 election by spewing feel-good mendacity as a sop to the gay community.

Obama's proposal, which you can read in full at whitehouse.gov, involves a lot of gentle nudging and "engaging multilateral agencies" and tut-tutting and speaking loudly while carrying a small stick. In other words, it will be totally (and intentionally) ineffectual.

I too want to protect gay rights around the world. I mean, really protect gay rights around the world. Not merely pretend to like Obama and his "good for few headlines and then quickly abandoned" lip service.

And so I hereby call out President Obama on his so-called gay rights strategy. I throw down the gauntlet.

President Obama (and his supporters): are you up for the challenge? Here is my proposal:

Zombie's No-Holds-Barred International Gay Rights Strategy


• Enforce a total embargo against any country that has a death penalty for homosexual activity, including most importantly Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates, as well as Yemen, Iran, Mauritania, and Somalia.

• In order to implement the embargo and make the United States energy-independent from these death-penalty countries, open up to drilling all American-controlled offshore oil fields in the Gulf of Mexico, and loosen any existing restrictions against oil production on U.S. territory.

• Enact punitive tariffs and other severe economic penalties against any US trading partners that continue to do business with Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, or other countries where gays are executed.

• Withhold all – and I mean ALL – foreign aid from any countries where homosexuality is officially illegal and where gays are imprisoned or punished simply for being gay. Promise to restore aid only when homosexuality is legalized. The countries affected by this order include Pakistan, the Palestinian Territories (Gaza), Syria, Qatar, Malaysia, Oman, Lebanon, Kuwait, Bangladesh, Burma, Uzbekistan, Zimbabwe, Senegal, Ghana, among many others.