Obama: Real Americans Speak French and Spanish

Barack Obama, the most far-left major party candidate to ever run for the presidency, is now attempting to reposition himself towards the center. However, his words occasionally betray him and reveal to voters his not-so-hidden nature. Just recently, at a campaign stop in Georgia, he shared with his audience yet another method by which they could better themselves. Previously, he called for citizens to devote more time to public service, but on July 8 he offered linguistic counsel:

I don't understand when people are going around worrying about "we need to have English only." They want to pass a law "we want just, we want English only." Now I agree that immigrants should learn English. I agree with that, but, but, understand this, instead of worrying about whether immigrants can learn English -- they'll learn English -- you need to make sure your child can speak Spanish. You should be thinking about how can your child become bilingual. We should have every child speaking more than one language. You know, it's embarrassing, it's embarrassing when Europeans come over here. They all speak English, they speak French, they speak German. And then we go over to Europe, and all we can say is "Merci beaucoup."

The would-be uniter's venture into self-improvement offends at a multitude of levels. To begin with, it reveals him to be completely ignorant of history because Europe is doomed economically and France in particular: "[their] fiscal freedom and government size scores are extraordinarily weak. As in many other European social democracies, government spending and tax rates are exceptionally high to support an extensive welfare state."

What embarrasses mightily is that Barack Obama can get this close to becoming president without comprehending that, in the twenty-first century, the French and their language are completely irrelevant. The Gauls ceased being significant in June 1940 and their culture should be the last thing our children study. Most of us -- aside from a few recalcitrant pseudo-intellectuals in our major cities who bitterly cling to affected moral superiority, berets, cloves, and defeatism -- realize that true humiliation is not to be found here but in the land of those who collapsed at Sedan, constructed Vichy France, gave birth to post-modernism, and support a powerful political party that advances socialist principles.

Furthermore, the argument Obama put forth at the rally was a non-sequitur. His conclusion is devoid of logic and estranged from rational premise. His instructions produce questions rather than answers. Why should immigrants bother to learn English if every American will eventually learn Spanish? Conversely, since he agrees that immigrants should master English, why then should indigènes master Spanish? Also, is not his focus on Europe a bit provincial? In lieu of current events and population trends, would it not be more advantageous for pupils to become fluent in Chinese, Hindi, or Arabic? Comprehending those languages is what will matter in the years to come.

Moreover, English rather than Spanish is the predominant language of the internet. If the Democratic nominee wants to assist students he should recommend their becoming excellent practitioners of English as opposed to memorizing verb conjugations which will offer them little assistance in the global marketplace.