Meet Your New Neighbors: Islamic Radicals from Gitmo

Scan any list of the most tasteless television series ever produced and you are bound to stumble across the 1990 British sitcom Heil Honey I'm Home! A spoof of 1950s-era comedies, the show depicts Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun enjoying a life of suburban bliss -- until they begin tangling with their Jewish neighbors. Public outrage condemned it to the ash heap after just one episode.

What premise could spark a similar firestorm in 2009? Perhaps some crass young screenwriter drawing inspiration from his forebears might propose a series about Islamic jihadists, freshly released from a high-security American jail, who move to suburbia and find themselves face to face with Jews or liberated women -- or, Allah forbid, liberated Jewish women -- in the house next door. Oh, the zany adventures they could have on Heil Honey I'm Home (from Gitmo)!

Of course, such a series would never be filmed, let alone aired. In a hypersensitive age when national security officials refrain from juxtaposing "Islamic" and "terrorism," mockery of Islam's excesses is frowned upon. Simply green-light the show and Ibrahim Hooper would work himself to exhaustion faxing press releases, angry protesters would descend on the studio, and government bigwigs would go hoarse from apologizing to the Muslim world.

But here is the "good" news, which actually is very, very bad news: One need not wait for the above storyline to be brought to life by writers and directors and actors. No, this scenario is all too real, as demonstrated by an April 24 Los Angeles Times article that tells the tale of jihadists about to be freed and transplanted to American towns -- maybe even yours.

President Obama's order to close Guantanamo Bay and move terrorists to U.S. jails is troubling enough. But it gets worse. The Times reports how the administration is laying the groundwork to release and "settle" in American communities as many as seven of the seventeen Chinese Muslims (Uighurs) held at Gitmo. Due to its concentration of Uighur immigrants, Washington's Virginia suburbs have been suggested as a perfect locale for the soon-to-be-former detainees. After all, what could possibly go wrong?