Loving the Financial Crisis

Paul Krugman of the New York Times loves the financial crisis. He gets to write daily op-eds about how the Obama administration should spend even more money. Publicly disagree with him, and he gets to write another op-ed in which he calls you a bonehead. This bonehead -- I mean, Nobel Prize-winning economist -- has calculated that for every $1 the government spends, $1.50 in new GDP is created. By that logic, the government should spend all of its money to buy paper, ink, and printing presses and then just as the kids say, make it rain up in here.

Comedians love the financial crisis because it's the gift that keeps on giving. Have you heard about Ford's new car? It's a hybrid that runs on a combination of gas and bailout money (David Letterman). And you know Guantanamo Bay's going to be closed. Yes, the economy's so bad that even the terrorists are losing their homes (Jay Leno).

Rush Limbaugh loves the financial crisis. Rush has been on top of his game ever since the Democratic primaries, and now that the party is in control and recycling its failed "War on Poverty" policies and breaking its centrist campaign promises, there has never been a better time for him to ask America if this is what they voted for, and articulate alternatives. We can only hope that the White House attacks that have very likely doubled his audience in just the past few weeks help to create a grassroots conservative monster.

Hamas also loves the crisis. In October, Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh said that the U.S. financial collapse was a punishment from Allah because we supported the Gaza siege. Now that we're paying $900 million to rebuild Gaza and giving scholarships to Palestinian students, I assume that Allah will spare us.

Rahm Emmanuel and Hillary Clinton love not just the financial crisis, but any crisis. And why shouldn't they? They're not the ones who get stuck with the check when the government screws up.

Those infamous "community organizers" love the crisis. Perhaps you were wondering what ever happened to those rock throwing delinquents that have followed the World Trade Organization, the World Bank, and the G8 everywhere they've gone since 1999. (Except to Singapore. Nobody messes with Singapore.) Now they're shutting down Greece, ousting prime ministers in Iceland, rioting in Eastern Europe, torching BMWs in Germany, targeting foreclosure auctions in New York and CEO's homes in Connecticut, striking and picketing parliament in London, and waving the hammer and sickle in Moscow. Track their progress here. And 2.5 million people are striking in France, proving that it is possible to actually surrender to a recession.

Nouriel Roubini loves the economic crisis. Nicknamed Dr. Doom, he is interviewed by Forbes, Bloomberg, CNBC, and other news media whenever they want a dire prediction of multi-trillion dollar banking losses. We can assume that book sales and consulting revenues are up. His claim to fame is that he predicted the real estate crash and stock market collapse. Kudos to financial writer Eric Tyson for noting that this college professor, who has no special access to economic data, also predicted a recession in 2004, 2005, 2006, and 2007. Of course, he is just one of many analysts that have been forecasting financial Armageddon for years and are now enjoying the spotlight.

Even some banks love the financial crisis. Northern Trust, fed up by government condemnation of a lavish party that they threw in February, decided to give their TARP money back and said that they didn't even want it in the first place. Northern was founded in 1896 and has a reputation for conservative management. It survived the Great Depression with no government assistance. And now, this medium-sized Midwestern bank is worth more than Citigroup and half as much as Bank of America. Perhaps instead of criticizing them, Congress should be asking for their advice.

And I love the financial crisis because I can write articles like this. Does anyone else love the financial crisis? Let me know.