One Night Only: Drunkblogging the September Democratic Debate

And then there were ten.

Showing more mercy than when Democrats took your health plan away, even though you liked it, and much more than they did during, say, the Battle of Poison Spring, the DNC has whittled the debate field down to just ten contenders, facing off on just one night.

This is the best thing to happen to my liver since I started taking NAC supplements.

That still leaves us with Andrew Yang's big surprise, Kamala Harris's long, slow fade, Beta's F-bombs, and the expectation of fireworks between Joe Biden and Liz Warren.

In the end, ten will enter...

...and sadly, ten will also leave. Because this isn't Thunderdome.

But pour yourself a drink and imagine if it were.

So without any further ado, let's start the drunkblog.

I've been at this for well over three hours, so I'll let one of our slightly less-exhausted (and presumably more sober) PJ writers do the big wrap.

I will say this though: This wasn't a debate. It was an over-long display of huge egos touting small ideas to well-meaning (but sadly misinformed) kids and preening celebrity infotainment newsreaders.

And yet, chances are a large number of American primary voters will make one of these jokers their nominee for the office of President of the United States.

It's a joke; it just isn't a funny one.

I hope in some small way I was able to lighten the load of it.

Biggest Lie of the Night:

"It was a great debate. I think we learned a lot tonight."

-G. Stephanopoulos

What a preening suck-up.

OMG, Castro once had to work two jobs because bossing people around on a city council was a low-paid, part-time gig.


Castro: "In many ways I shouldn't be on this stage."

I'd accept just one reason for him to be there, but alas.

On the other hand, Klobuchar gave Miller the chance to tweet this, so her presence isn't a total loss.

Klobuchar: ...

I can't even imagine why anyone would care about these bottom tier candidates at this point.

Beto: My biggest setback was being a charming doofus who married into money. Give me your guns.

Booker: My biggest setback was making up that stuff about T-Bone.*

*Just kidding. It worked SO well with you idiots.

Yang: I'm successful and want to give you money.

OK, but do I still have to vote for you?

Preachy Pete: I was brave enough to come out long after it was cool.