I'd never heard of National Beverage Corp. or it's popular seltzer water, LaCroix, before this morning. (They also own Shasta, which of course I've heard of.) But I can tell you I'd never put my money into a company run by anyone who writes, talks, or thinks like CEO Nick Caporella.
I've read a lot of silly press releases, but never one quite like this from the CEO of a multimillion-dollar company:
"We are truly sorry for these results stated above. Negligence nor mismanagement nor woeful acts of God were not the reasons – much of this was the result of injustice! Managing a brand is not so different from caring for someone who becomes handicapped. Brands do not see or hear, so they are at the mercy of their owners or care providers who must preserve the dignity and special character that the brand exemplifies. It is important that LaCroix's true character is not devalued intentionally − in any way. National Beverage Corp. is and will remain the preeminent innovator that adds zest and authenticity to the 'sparkling water' phenomenon in North America," stated Nick A. Caporella, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer.
"Additionally, gross margins were impacted by volume declines. Comparisons were further skewed by the adoption of the new tax act in the third quarter of the prior year, which included credits and rate reduction adjustments aggregating $11.3 million. Nothing herein mentioned has detracted from the ultimate value and future of our dynamic company.
There is no greater passion than the kind that creates the wonderful refreshment and contentment described as unique! No doubt, the sound and personality of the word LaCroix, coupled with the awesome experience of its essence and taste . . . is unique. One can be induced to purchase by cheapening price or giving away a product, but falling in love with a feeling of joy is the result of contentment. Just ask any LaCroix consumer . . . Would you trade away that LaLa feeling? 'No way, they shout – We just love our LaCroix!' I am positive they respond this way each and every time," Caporella concluded.
What's really concerning here, aside from the loopy hippie-speak, is Caporella's total failure to address why the company's sales tanked. "Injustice" isn't a reason; it's a complaint. What will Caporella do to bring sales back -- fight injustice?
A Republican assemblyman in Western New York (where I live) has introduced a bill to "divide New York into three autonomous regions, each controlled by its own governors and legislatures."
“Western New York, where I’m from, has the most population loss with 18- to 35-year-olds. Our kids are leaving the state in droves, the most anywhere in the country,” Mr. DiPietro said. “There’s no jobs. And New York City controls this.”
This isn’t secession. New York would still be one state but divided into three segments: New York City and its boroughs; the Montauk region, comprising the downstate counties of Nassau, Suffolk, Rockland and Westchester; and the rest of the state, dubbed “New Amsterdam.”
A denizen of East Aurora who runs his family’s dry cleaning business, Mr. DiPietro said the Empire State has been under the thumb of New York City lawmakers for years, but the situation went from bad to worse in November when Republicans lost the state Senate after having controlled it for most of the past 50 years.
Dare to dream.
Speaking of Jussie Smollett... how's his album doing?
Great career booster there, Jussie.
For my fellow Taylor Swift fans who appreciated her desire not to talk about politics...
I’m finding my voice in terms of politics. I took a lot of time educating myself on the political system and the branches of government that are signing off on bills that affect our day-to-day life. I saw so many issues that put our most vulnerable citizens at risk, and felt like I had to speak up to try and help make a change. Only as someone approaching 30 did I feel informed enough to speak about it to my 114 million followers. Invoking racism and provoking fear through thinly veiled messaging is not what I want from our leaders, and I realized that it actually is my responsibility to use my influence against that disgusting rhetoric. I’m going to do more to help. We have a big race coming up next year.
Please, Taylor... stay out of politics...
Earlier today, I broke the story of Pastor Ramin Parsa's being banned on Twitter. Michelle Malkin, David Harsanyi, Robert Spencer, and others have retweeted my call to action here.
If you can, please share this article (Censored: Twitter Bans Iran Refugee After the Mall of America Locked Him Up for Sharing His Faith) and tweet the hashtag #FreeRaminParsa to draw more attention to this story. Pastor Parsa is a refugee from Iran and Turkey who got arrested for talking about his Christian faith with Somali Muslims and held in "mall jail" for hours at the Mall of America in Minnesota.
Minnesota rightly dropped the ridiculous trespassing charges, but he is considering suing the Mall of America. At the very least, Twitter should drop this ridiculous ban.
Stephen-I had a gig in Alaska about a year and a half ago and there were still a couple of Blockbuster stores in Anchorage. I went to one before the Saturday shows and felt as if I had been transported by a time machine to the early aughts. Also, I got a t-shirt.
So this video is horrendously bad.
But it's worth looking at just for the comments.
"How did we ever live before this knowledge was handed down to us from on high?"
Why not use an actual cup or mug?
Normal glass jars will shatter when heated... and "Rubber bands are for wusses."
My personal favorite: "It's too bad you can't buy reusable coffee cups in stores." ROFL.