Friday's HOT MIC
Since we're all doing Shot/Chaser today...
Now the limo-driving flat-earther wants to run for governor in California.
"Do I believe the Earth is shaped like a Frisbee? I believe it is," he told the LA Times. "Do I know for sure? No. That's why I want to go up in space."
Along with a renewed appreciation for his pets, Hughes's close call with death apparently got him thinking about his future. He told the AP that his next step is to run for governor of California, seeing as he might have a better shot making a bid for public office.
This is the state that just gave Jerry Brown to bonus terms as governor to round out his career. Never rule anything out.
Also, this would sadly be an upgrade over any of the Democrats poised to assume Brown's Supermajority throne.
The Planned Parenthood ghouls are abandoning some of their faithful for the midterms in an effort to pick up some swing state Senate seats.
Planned Parenthood, partly funded by the federal government despite efforts from conservatives to cut off taxpayer dollars from being funneled into the organization, announced a $20 million investment in the 2018 midterm elections.
The initial investment is in the following states:
But, there are at least five red states missing that have vulnerable Democratic senators running for re-election:
West Virginia Sen. Joe Manchin
Indiana Sen. Joe Donnelly
Missouri Sen. Claire McCaskill
North Dakota Sen. Heidi Heitkamp
Montana Sen. Jon Tester
It is probably the Arizona seat being vacated by Jeff Flake that they and the Dems (redundant, I know) covet most. While the merits of the two "Republicans" in the Senate from my native state at the moment can be fairly debated (I can't stand either of them), this would still be a huge pickup for the other side. There hasn't been a Democrat from Arizona in the Senate since Dennis DeConcini retired 23 years ago. That seat is seen as vulnerable, although I'm not completely buying it.
Irish pubs open on Good Friday for first time in 90 years.
In 1927, Ireland banned the sale of alcohol on Christmas Day, Good Friday, and St. Patrick's Day. The St. Patrick's Day ban was lifted in 1967, and the Good Friday ban was lifted for today, March 30, 2018.
Guinness is flowing in Irish pubs on a Good Friday for the first time in 90 years.
Lines of people were reported as pubs opened at 7 a.m. to serve alcohol, thanks to legislation that overturned the 1927 ban on pubs opening on Good Friday in time for thirsty locals and tourists.
The Vintners’ Federation of Ireland welcomed the change, saying it would add 40 million euros ($49 million) in sales. Chief executive Padraig Cribben said “the Good Friday ban is from a different era and is rightfully consigned to history.”
Cribben said the change meant pub owners now had a choice whether to open, “like all other businesses who were never subject to a ban.”
I appreciate the religious practice of abstaining from strong drink on the holiday commemorating Jesus Christ's death on the cross, but I don't think the government should mandate it. Let Christians who wish to remember Jesus's death abstain from alcohol — except in Communion — if the Holy Spirit leads them to do so. Don't force everyone else to abstain as well.
Christian business leaders should not be pressured to open on Good Friday (or Easter Sunday or Christmas, three of the most important holidays in the Christian calendar).
Your Friday Bee:
From the post:
1.) Do background research on your opponents’ position by finding lots of memes that reinforce your worldview. Whatever you do, don’t do any actual research into what your opponent actually believes and why. This might humanize them. Instead, create a wild straw-man caricature of their beliefs by looking up a bunch of memes designed to make their worldview look stupid and your worldview look awesome.
2.) Set your Caps Lock key to ATTACK. Just as rebel pilots have to set their X-Wings’ s-foils into attack position, so you must set your Caps Lock key to the fully ON position before you can rationally present your viewpoint to your foes. GET TO IT SOLDIER!
3.) Start off by comparing them to mass murderers, preferably Hitler. This is a great way to get the conversation off on the right foot. Immediately suggest that their viewpoints make them on the same level as history’s worst villains. If you’re good with Photoshop, maybe whip up a quick image of them in a Nazi uniform with a Hitler mustache.
4.) Brutalize your opponent, then when they hit back, claim you’re a protected, marginalized class and therefore immune to criticism. Did your ancestors serve in the Peloponnesian War? Then call people who disagree with you out for attacking a veteran’s family. Are you 1/32 Native American? Play the race card. How dare those ingrates criticize the oppressed and marginalized!
5.) Hold your enemies to the most stringent moral standard while you yourself sling insults like a middle schooler. Comb through their tweets from 10 years ago and find something slightly off-color they said. Then call them on the carpet for it, notwithstanding the fact that you’ve done far worse yourself. You’re in the right here, so any impropriety on your part is justified.
6.) Keep in view your real goal: grandstanding to get lots of likes on your replies, not to seriously engage your ideological foes’ worldviews. It’s a successful argument if you get a few hundy likes on each of your replies. In fact, rather than replying directly to the person, quote their tweet and post your scathing reply to all your followers for more likes and shares.
7.) Finally, hit ’em with a condescending GIF. Post an animated image of a sarcastic Jennifer Lawrence or some excited youths freaking out and literally falling to the ground because someone got ethered. This is the ultimate fatality and proves that you won the argument. Now you can block the person and go on with your life, secure in the knowledge that you’ve absolutely brutalized them.
We live in times that are impossible to satirize, but thank the Internet for continuing to try.