Friday's HOT MIC

Friday's HOT MIC

NASA has issued a statement that the US is not harboring child sex slaves on Mars.

Whew! What a relief.

New York Post:

On Thursday, a guest on InfoWars claimed that NASA had kidnapped kids and sent them to the red planet to be sex slaves.

“There are no humans on Mars. There are active rovers on Mars. There was a rumor going around last week that there weren’t. There are,” Guy Webster, a spokesperson for NASA’s Mars exploration, was forced to tell The Daily Beast. “But there are no humans.”

The insane conspiracy theory was aired on Alex Jones’ “The Alex Jones Show,” which is broadcast on 118 radio stations across the country.

Jones spoke with Robert David Steele, who said the kidnapped children arrived on Mars after a 20-year journey through space.

“We actually believe that there is a colony on Mars that is populated by children who were kidnapped and sent into space on a 20-year ride,” said Steele. “So that once they get to Mars, they have no alternative but to be slaves on the Mars colony.”

The two decades of travel would technically mean the hypothetical children were no longer children upon arrival, but regardless, the child slave colony is not real, so the math doesn’t really matter.

Not to spoil the sex slave on Mars party, but why did it take 20 years to get to Mars? We've sent probes to the Red Planet that have made it in about 8 months.

The big problem for the sex slaves would be achieving escape velocity from the Earth's gravitational field - about 30K miles per hour. Obviously, if they were able to accomplish that, they would get to Mars in a lot less than 20 years.

No word on whether Dejah Thoris or John Carter are helping with the colony.