Live from DNC: Hillary Endorses Obama — Or Does She?

9:12PM Bill Kristol says the Obama! Watch score was 10, but I think he counted the hanging chads.

9:08PM "Let's elect Barack Obama and Joe Biden." Let me sum up my impression of her speech, and the entire DNC so far, in two words: Let's not.

9:07.5PM Obama! Watch: 5?

9:07PM "We're Americans, we're not big on quitting." Unless we're Democrats, and there's a war on. In which case, let's all be French.

9:06PM "Keep going!" Oh, how about we try shutting up already?

9:05PM "My mother was born before women could vote." Yeah, well MY momma... wait... aren't we playing this game the wrong way around?

9:04PM Obama! Watch: 4. Cocktails: 3. I'm glad I didn't agree to do shots.

9:03PM "Equal pay for equal work!" Please, please, please let's have the Supreme Court determine our wages.

9:02PM Stacy McCain leaned over and asked me, "Have you heard any gaffes, any blunders?" And I had to admit that I haven't. But, as Stacy pointed out, it's really just her campaign stump speech -- when she ran against lame duck George Bush instead of hot & tasty young up'n'commer Barrack Obama.

9:00PM "President Obama and the Democrats." I have... I need... I... Hold me, I'm scared.

8:59PM Oil profits bad... government "green" spending good. The last successful government energy project made a big splash in New Mexico in 1945. And yet they oppose nuclear power.

8:57PM And the laundry list goes on... and you wonder why I drink my way through these events?

8:55PM Here it comes: Clinton's mock State of the Union address, where she lists the things, basically, she'd do. It's laundry list, empty of real content, and as boring as an empty cocktail glass.

8:54PM McCain mentions: One. Bush mentions: Many. The Dems are STILL running against Bush. Do they think he's going to be around another four years if they don't?

8:53.5PM "Stephanie Tubbs Jones." She said Barrack once, and Obama once... which means STJ has technically gotten more Hillary mentions than The One.

8:53PM I think that's how many times Reagan mentioned Ford by name during his short, bitter 1976 RNC speech.

8:52PM Obama! Watch score: Still 2.

8:50PM She knows a guy with a Marine Corps t-shirt. Hell, I used to own a USMC t-shirt. Does she have a point? I mean, other than the one sitting on top of that ORANGE pants suit.

8:49PM I've been looking longingly at my second, empty vodka rocks for too long now. BRB.

8:48.5PM She's saying bad things about Republicans and "eight years of failed leadership." If she'd have provided eight months of even mediocre leadership, Obama would be giving his speech for her tonight.

8:48PM "We are on the same team and none of us can afford to sit on the sidelines." Apparently, her rehearsal speech this afternoon was a little "alternate pre-history" to soothe the tender souls of the PUMAs. And who can blame her?

8:47PM "The time is now to unite as a single party with a single purpose." Winning!

8:46PM Obama! Watch: 2

8:46PM "I'm here tonight as a proud mother, as a proud Democrat, as a proud senator from New York, a proud American [sic], and a proud supporter of Barrack Obama." Stacy should have taken the bet, he says.

8:45PM She's getting quite the reception. Also, please remember that fines are doubled in a construction zone.

8:44PM Obama! Watch: 0. Robert Stacy McCain declined my five dollar bet.

8:43 PM Correction: With those hips and that suit, she looks like a highway cone.

8:42 PM Hillary seems to have just escaped from a minimum security prison work detail.

8:40 PM The OTHER McCain says Clinton won't totally snub The One tonight. He's sitting next to me on the sofa, and I'm about to offer him a five dollar wager.