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Let's Blame It All on Madonna

It's a believable concept. Let's face it -- anybody who has seen any of her last few movies may already believe the only way she could have had them produced would be if she controlled the media.

Or take Madonna's Kabbalah protégé, Demi Moore. Demi has a tattoo of a cross on her arm. Judaism forbids tattoos, so a tattoo of a cross … let’s just say it’s not very kosher.

But I say we tell Ms. Moore all is well, so long as she calls Obama advisor Samantha Power and convinces her that the Jews don’t control foreign policy in America -- she and Ashton do.

Lavish parties do not make a Bar Mitzvah crass. Crassness enters the picture when the child and the family forget what the party is celebrating -- a level of religious learning and the child accepting an adult level responsibility. By definition, the "Faux-Mitzvah" is meant to be crass -- all bar, no mitzvah.

But I'll endorse these crass parties, so long as each invitation mentions that the big blowout is paid for by the pseudo-Jews who control the banks.

Shifting some anti-Semitic libel to the pseudo-Jews could even help advance the Middle East peace process. For years, the Palestinians have been trying their darnedest to delegitimize Jewish historical claims to the Holy Land. They even claim that there was never a Jewish Temple on the Temple Mount.

I say, as part of any peace deal, the Palestinians can claim the Mount if first President Abbas explains to Mel Gibson that 2,000 years ago it was the Palestinians who killed Jesus.

Of course, they might refuse the offer and deny that libel, pointing out the historical fact that there were no Palestinians around 2,000 years ago.

Come to think of it, that wouldn’t be a bad thing, either.