Is a Horrific, Politically Motivated Beating Newsworthy?

The following is, of course, satire -- though the author continues to wait for the AP, Barack Obama, Eric Holder, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Anderson Cooper, Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, and the rest of the MSM and political class to give the New Orleans beating the coverage it deserves.


(AP) BOSTON - Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick's chief campaign fundraiser is recovering from injuries she suffered in a Friday night altercation with a group of people in Boston's Back Bay, the governor's office said Monday.

Bautsch Allee suffered a broken leg and her boyfriend suffered a concussion and a fractured nose and jaw in the incident, which happened after a fundraising event at Bouchee restaurant on behalf of the Massachusetts Democratic Party on Friday evening.

Patrick was at the fundraising event at the restaurant, but was not present when the incident occurred.

Pyle Klotkin, a Patrick spokesman, said Allee had surgery during the weekend and is facing a recovery time of two to three months.

The Democratic fundraiser coincided with a rally for the so-called "tea party" movement in the Boston Commons. The rally was led by former Alaska Governor and unsuccessful vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

According to police and governor's office sources, Allee and her boyfriend were accosted by individuals who may have been among a group of conservative activists protesting outside Bouchee during the fundraiser. Sources described the assailants as "middle-class white people" wearing "chinos and polo shirts."

Response to the horrific outbreak of political violence was swift. The White House released a statement from President Barack Obama, a close friend and political ally of Gov. Patrick, stating:

As president, I condemn this outrageous attack in the strongest possible terms. While political dissent has a storied place in our nation's history, outright violence against political opponents has no place in our society. I call on the leaders of the Republican Party to denounce this terrible attack, and I am ordering Attorney General Holder to place the full powers of the federal government at Governor Patrick's disposal. We must and we will find the criminals responsible for this atrocity, and we must all work to silence the voices that oppose our nation's transformation into a new and better place.