If Wealth Redistribution Is So Great, Let's Go All the Way!

To hear the president and his acolytes tell it, redistributing the wealth is such an obvious moral superiority that it needs no justification, no explanation. OK, I’ll run with that for the moment. But why should we stop only with the taking of income from some to give to others? There are so many other things of value that could and should be redistributed as well. Let’s start with the president, obviously wealthier and more privileged than I, and the redistribution we can make of his advantages to me:

Redistribute special favors: I would like to buy an equivalent house as his in Chicago (after all, housing is a “right,” right?), but I need the same special deal he got from Mr. Rezko. I did not have the advantage of a special deal on my own so I had to pay full price for my more modest home.

Redistribute income opportunities: I would like to draw the same salary as Michelle Obama got, along with the increase she received when her husband was elected to the Senate, but I want the same workload, level of responsibility, and vulnerability to termination that she had. I am pretty sure I could do the work on this basis, so aren’t I entitled to the same benefit?

Equal exposure to public scrutiny: The president can bypass the Constitution by appointing unvetted czars, withhold full disclosure on his resume, hire tax cheats, and do about-faces on national issues until he practically screws himself into the ground, and the media sees not a thing. If I were to bring a water balloon to the O’Hare Airport parking lot, my entire life would be public knowledge within a few days. We can call this equal access to ass-covering.

These would all be nice, but still far too limited in scope. If we are to adopt a true redistributionist mindset, then we need to cover all the bases. I would ask that when the president takes my income to give to others, he also require them to sign the same personal guarantees I had to sign to secure financing for my business. I would want them to mortgage their homes to support the business in difficult times. That means right now. I would ask that they both make and share responsibility for the decisions I make that affect 64 employees and their families. There ought to be a redistribution of the stresses that come with running a manufacturing business during a largely government-induced recession, including helping with the layoffs and salary reductions.

After all that, if things do not go well and the business closes, I would like the money taken from me to be redistributed again, this time from the recipients of my confiscated income back to me, as I will have far less than they at that point. I am sure they will accept the social justice in that.