HuffPost's List of Sequestration's Apocalyptic Horrors Strangely Neither Apocalyptic Nor Especially Horrible
Earlier today the Huffing Post published its Top 100 Horrific, Dastardly, No Good Effects of the Crime Against Humanity that Is the Sequestration (my title, not theirs). It's a cherry-picked list of what the libs there think are the absolute most awful things that are just now beginning to stalk the American countryside thanks to those awful budget cuts in the evil sequester plot.
Let's cherry pick from the PuffHost's cherry-picked list.
19. Shorter school week at Fort Bragg, N.C. -- The military is considering shifting to a four-day school week, which would affect 84,000 students on military installations worldwide and 5,000 at Fort Bragg. Teachers may also face furloughs in the coming months. [Link]
27. Less camping in Connell, Wash. -- Scooteney Park has remained closed to campers because of sequestration. Day use remains intact. [Link]
Say it ain't so!
32. Fewer volcanoes monitored in Fairbanks, Alaska. -- The Alaska Volcano Observatory, which monitors volcanoes because ash cloud eruptions can impair intercontinental aviation, announced that it is cutting back some of its real-time monitoring because of sequestration. [Link]
O. M. G. Wouldn't it be nice if we had satellites that monitor volcanoes from space? Wait...
42. Disruption to public broadcasting in Virginia. -- Blue Ridge PBS is shutting down two transmitters that carry the station's over-the-air digital signal to southwest Virginia and Tennessee. [Link]
All Things Considered changes its name to Some Things Lightly Pondered, If We Feel Like It -- Whatever.
54. Risk to campers in Oklahoma. -- The opening of campgrounds along the Arkansas River is being delayed with the possibility that they may not open at all. [Link]
You know what? Camping is inherently risky. That's kind of the point of camping.
55. Army band cancels concert in Orangeburg, S.C. -- The Army Band's free concert at the Orangeburg-Wilkinson High School has been cancelled. [Link]
How did this make the Top 100?
66. Army entertainment cancelled in Clover, S.C. -- The United States Army Field Band and Soldiers Chorus has canceled the concert scheduled for April 8. [Link]
73. Dire warnings in Fairfax County, Va. -- Fairfax County Executive Ed Long warned northern Virginians to "prepare for the worst, hope for the best" and to "set aside" money for the tough times sequestration will bring. [Link]
A warning makes the list of the Top 100 actual effects? I'm beginning to suspect a certain amount of padding of the list is going on here.
99. Dirtier restrooms at parks in San Francisco. The Golden Gate National Recreation Area's $25 million budget is losing $1.4 million due to sequestration. Due to furloughs and the decision not to fill vacant positions, services such as sweeping, maintenance, trash pickup, restroom cleaning will be reduced. [Link]
Write your own jokes to that one.