How to Respond to Free Gaza Flotillas

There is, however, little doubt that the Israeli raid was dismally planned. Anyone who was aware that the event had been cooked up in Istanbul by the  Turkish IHH (Insani Yardim Vakfi, IHH) — a well-known radical Islamic organization with ties to various jihadist networks — or who had checked out the activities and ravings of its leader Bülent Yildirim, or who had tuned in to Al-Jazeera or accessed the messages on several internet sites like Twitter and Facebook would have known in advance exactly what was portending.

Further, it should have been obvious to the Israeli authorities that no matter how they might have chosen to deal with the flotilla — the commandos could have rappelled unto the deck of the Turkish ship with roses between their teeth and champagne bottles held aloft — they would still have been vilified in the world press as ruthless criminals intent on unprovoked violence. Since it’s damned if you do and damned if you don’t, a more vigorous and decisive intervention would surely have been preferable.

More to the point, perhaps, if the upshot of this incident was already evident to someone like this writer, by no means an expert in international politics, sitting before a cheap computer in his workroom in a bungalow in a small Canadian town half a world away and days before the confrontation, how could the IDF or the Mossad not have known what was clearly inevitable? “The flotilla took two weeks to get going,” writes Ottawa University professor Seymour Mayne, “and let its participants be made known through channels that were available for monitoring” (personal communication). The episode was so blatantly semaphored that one would have had to be in a coma not to foresee the results. Or have the Israelis been so bludgeoned by the relentless worldwide propaganda onslaught waged against them over these many years, and grown so fearful of offending the international consortium of bigots and hypocrites who have only their demise at heart, that they have been rendered incapable of taking effective action and asserting their rights and their dignity?

Let me get my two agorot in. Were I in a position of command, how would I have replied to the threat represented by this surreptitious armada of jihadist sympathizers? Without being overly facetious, I would suggest that the proper response to the convoy would have been to fill several large helicopters with barnyard slop and dung, which would then have hovered above the bellwether Mavi Marmara and released the full cargo on the heads of the terrorist crew manning the ship, as many times as necessary, until the ship was caked and drenched in liquid manure. Once disabled, the ship could easily have been towed to the port of Ashdod and fumigated. The operation could have been repeated for the other vessels as well, if their captains had remained adamant. Another advantage of this procedure would have been its explicit function as commentary. It might also have given a grimly earnest and sanctimonious world the opportunity to laugh, even against its will, and so perhaps to come to its senses at last.

In any case, such a plan would have been no less absurd and probably far more effective than the Israeli military arming its soldiers with paintball guns.