Why Hillary Clinton Should Advertise on Snapchat

There’s great news for the Left out of Venice Beach this month: Snapchat is launching a political advertisement branch. For all you dinosaurs still living actual lives in the real world, Snapchat is a smartphone photo-messaging app. Its gimmick is that the photos you send (hypothetically) disappear into the Great Online Void once they’ve been viewed. Like most strokes of internet genius, Snapchat was designed with the height of sleaze in mind. It was meant for those days when you’re itching to sext your girlfriend a picture of yourself in the edible underwear she bought you at Kmart: after you’re done, Snapchat deletes the photo and destroys the evidence. It’s greasy, superficial, and designed expressly for the evasion of accountability. Which means it’s the perfect medium for a Hillary Clinton ad campaign!

Of course, it was the Obama campaigns that really pioneered the use of social media in the political arena. And why not? The Twittersphere is the ideal place for the Obama message. 140 characters is about as far as this president can get without putting his foot in his mouth. Misleading infographics and self-righteous soundbites — the bread and butter of the Obama image — are right at home on Facebook. And Instagram is a great venue for reaching out to one of Obama’s key voter demographics: environmental studies majors in the beginning of their sophomore year.

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Social media, like the Obama administration, is big on heartfelt platitudes and painfully short on real-world follow-up. Witness, for example, the #BringBackOurGirls campaign, ostensibly intended to combat the radical terrorist group Boko Haram. In this heroic feat of PR propaganda, Michelle Obama pouted dolefully out of a million computer screens while the Middle East and Africa were ruthlessly brutalized by Islamofascists on her husband’s incompetent watch. But Obama has made sure to take decisive action against Islamic terrorism since then by inviting a YouTube star to the White House. And playing a particularly superb round of golf. While Boko Haram continues to ravage the Nigerian countryside. That’s just how much Obama #cares.

So Snapchat seems like the perfect way for Hillary to carry on the Left’s legacy of empty rhetoric into 2016. Snapchat is vapid and trendy, it necessitates the most abbreviated and meaningless verbal communication possible, and it ensures that all promises are literally erased from existence mere seconds after they’re made. With this in mind, allow me to suggest a few potential Clinton 2016 Snapchat ad campaigns.