Here's the Truth: Criminals and Their Groupies Think You're Stupid

A few weeks ago, a 17-year-old Santa Clarita resident dropped his resume off at a local hobby shop in hopes of finding a job. On his way out he was caught on security video shoplifting a $129 Airsoft gun. When asked why he would steal from a store he was hoping to work at (and that had his full name, address, and phone number), the teen said:

I was actually trying to get a job. And... what can I say? I'm a teenager, that's stupid.

While most can agree that the reporter was exceptionally generous to add a comma to that last line, what astounds me is how many people accept the premise of this thief's excuse as an explanation for criminality. Youth and stupidity are what drive teens to knock themselves out doing back flips off vending machines. They are not what drive them to steal from people who have their personal information.

The truth is this that kid assumed that after dropping off his resume the store manager was too busy eating pennies out of the cash drawer to notice what was going on.

All criminals and their groupies think you're stupid. They don't just think they're smarter than you, they assume your intellectual capacity falls somewhere between penny-eating moron on the high end and feces-flinging man monkey on the other. Criminality and support for criminals are driven by the arrogance and contemptuousness of the maladjusted, self-entitled cretins that our society produces through that strange alchemy of bad parenting, urbanization, and sad '60s nostalgia.

Which brings me to what condescending, over-educated types call the crux of the matter (which we only do to bait commenters into posting links from Wikipedia to prove we're using the phrase wrong and it's a meaningless pretense). We then sit in front of our keyboards laughing derisively while yelling "Abusus non tollit usum!" to our long suffering wives. This condescension on the part of criminals and the people who love them (what we usually call liberals) is the driving force behind the moral relativism that seems to be at the root of almost every problem plaguing America.

I'll provide examples.