Free Yourselves! Turn Off Your Laptops

As you can see, this was a very tedious way to keep people informed of what you're doing, because painting takes time and you aren’t always near a cave wall, as you could be out building a fire or getting a coffee from Starbucks. Often, one's CaveWall status went without updates for days and was thus quite out of date. Plus, people were limited to hunting things that were easy to draw.

Now, that all seems rather tedious and hard to manage. In fact, it almost makes directly talking to each other sound easier in comparison -- which is usually the first sign of a bad app. But I ask you this: with all your computers and internet and fancy touch screens, how many buffalo have those things helped you to kill?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

With all our technology, we've lost touch with what is truly important: killing and eating things. That takes effort from our physical bodies, and right now we look at the physical body as nothing but a burden to be shed when we finally become beings of energy. It needs maintenance in the form of food, bathroom breaks, and occasionally exercise -- things that make us miss trending topics on Twitter. But are we missing something essential by focusing on the internet, not taking in the real world, and killing the things that run around in it? Perhaps people were much happier and more balanced in the olden days, because I've never heard of an archaeologist discovering an ancient bottle of Prozac. When they got depressed, they just went out and stabbed a wooly mammoth in the face and then showed the kill off to everyone. Something like that was worth like 200 Facebook friends in terms of impressing people.

We all assumed that when Al Gore gave us the internet, it was a blessing, but maybe it was a curse. Perhaps instead of continuing down this path until we're each a tub of goo clicking a mouse, we should try something else. My suggestion: Let's dismantle all of civilized society. You know, for like a year or so. Go back to primitive customs like hunting for food, traveling by horse, and using landline phones. Let's really connect with the world and leave our computers to go out among nature and punch a few rabbits in the face to show them who is in charge. We could even ...

Oh, crap! When was I supposed to land this plane?!