Democrats' Favorite Election Strategy Strikingly Familiar to Monty Python Fans

The use of the technique in elections this year can be traced back as early as January (although some could credit Alan Grayson as architect), when a Democrat strategist working for Martha Coakley put the method to use against a Weekly Standard reporter. With the dry run completed, Democrats wasted little time implementing peasant repression across their caucus.

One early adopter was Bob Etheridge of NC-2 who nabbed himself a pair of peasants for asking whether he supported Obama’s agenda. However, new methods are not without errors in execution. I would hold out Congressman Etheridge as an example of poor implementation, accidentally assaulting the peasants before verbally lashing out.

Sometimes the Holy Grail scenario is so similar to the situations incumbents are facing you’d expect Democrats to start burning witches upon more witches. In Illinois, a peasant pointed out that Congressman Phil Hare’s claim to be a veteran was as fanciful as King Arthur’s claim to the throne of England through Excalibur. Hare’s DNC training kicked into high gear as he unloaded a barrage of peasantry intimidation.

Now that it is October, Democrats are implementing peasant repression at an alarming rate. In NY-29, Democratic candidate Matt Zeller is threatening to take away an entire congressional district should a majority of fellow residents fail to enlist as his peasants. Steve Driehaus of Ohio intends to throw one pro-life peasant in prison for billboard communication with other peasants. Florida Democrat Alcee Hastings threatened opponent and peasant Bernard Sansaricq for bringing up that little “one of the only judges ever to be impeached” thingy in a debate. For the record, that makes two opponent peasants in a row that Hastings has repressed.

Some Democrat staffers and supporters have been spotted putting peasant repression to work, providing evidence that the strategy is permeating entire campaigns. An example Lincoln Davis’ campaign manager, who was caught on camera shoving a pesky question-asking peasant. Democrat governors, on the other hand, leave the dirty peasant work to their own loyal, dirty peasants. Oregon Governor Kitzhaber and Ohio Governor Strickland both had supporters on hand to assault peasants filming at Democrat rallies.

Don’t let the violence of these methods deter you from seeing the brilliance of the strategy. While one would think that making threats and resorting to violence would make for bad press in the largest news organizations, you’d be mistaken. Thus far, most of it has gone unreported, and when it has been reported, peasants like Joe Miller are blamed.

November elections are coming up quickly and there is little left for the ruling left to do but make more threats. So go ahead Democrats, stop witch-baiting and get in there with your best fist throwing and fulminations, just not in that order. As the numerous examples above have proven, no one in the media is going to come to the peasants' aide when they cry out: “Help! Help! I’m being repressed!”