Could Obama Be Just Too Awesome?

Obama's overwhelming magnificence could also be a problem with Iran. After eight years of the caveman Bush screaming gibberish at Iran and shaking a rock at them threateningly, it is natural that Iran is still quite easily startled. So Obama, much unlike the previous leader who would order military strikes against loud thunderstorms, wanted to be delicate and try a thing called diplomacy. Thus he wrote a letter to Russia to try and help. That was a mistake, for once again the inability of another country to comprehend Obama resulted in trouble.

First off, Russia was quite startled to receive a letter from the American president, as they were used to the leader of America being illiterate and scared of the mail (since he believed it was transported by black magic). Thus it is no wonder the Russians would be suspicious and a bit confused. Not understanding Obama, they thought the letter outlined a quid pro quo where Obama would scrap missile defense in Europe in exchange for help with Iran, not only against actual missiles but also the much deadlier missiles of hate and ignorance. In fact, the letter was expressing how Obama now is our missile defense

Now, of course, Iran will be even more bewildered by what's going on. They're a primitive people whose leader believes in a mystical "God" character much like our own leader did in the dark ages of earlier this year. I'm sure Obama eventually will be able to calm them and get them to trust him again -- perhaps by building them a missile defense so they'll feel safer -- but the damage is already done.

So this is what we're up against. We may have entered a new era, but much of the world is still Obamaless and mired in the fear and mistrust of pre-Obama times. It will be up to us to help assure the world that Obama's hope and change is for them as well. They need to know that if Obama's actions seem stupid or insulting to them, it's only because they are not yet able to understand his splendor. We must remember that while Obama's brilliant radiance may fill us with awe, it could actually hurt the eyes of those unused to such light.