Colorado Man Cited for Shooting His Computer

Any IT technician will tell you that it's not wise to take matters into your own hands. Most computer users should leave it to the professionals. Lucas Hinch, 37 of Colorado Springs, didn't believe that advice, so he riddled his computer with bullets and walked away from the experience with a citation for discharging a weapon in public. The police language is priceless.

According to the Colorado Springs Police Department, officers responding last night to a 911 call about shots fired discovered that a “fed up” Lucas Hinch took his computer into a back alley and “fired 8 shots into the computer with a handgun, effectively disabling it.”

Hinch, 38, was cited for discharging a firearm within city limits, according to a police blotter entry that includes the summary description “Man Kills His Computer.”

When asked about the shooting, Hinch [said], “I just had it,” adding that he tired of the balky computer’s “blue screen of death.” Hinch said that he whacked the computer with a 9mm Hi-Point pistol recently purchased from a Craigslist seller. The gun was seized by police, who left the computer behind.

The late Dell XPS 410 model, seen in the above police evidence photo, is survived by a monitor and a keyboard.

The ponytailed Hinch operates a homeopathic herb store out of the apartment he shares with his girlfriend. He massacred the computer in the alley behind the house. If only he'd had some kind of all-natural remedy to help him relax.

The lesson here, kids, is simple: leave your IT problems to the professionals. Chances are the bill from a technician or shop will be cheaper than a fine and court costs.

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Photo courtesy of The Smoking Gun